This year, I micro-dosed LSD for six months. The results were excellent.
This is my first post on Steemit. You guys represent the kind of alternative, free-thinking community that inspires me, I'd like to share this story here first. As far as I know, this is the first account of LSD microdosing for such an extended period of time.
First, I want to explain the context in which I conducted this experiment.
I was already experienced with psychedelic use and had been through three years of traditional psychedelic psychotherapy, broadly of the kind devised by the well-known psychologist Stanislav Grof (and documented in his book, LSD Psychotherapy). During these three years I worked through trauma material from my childhood and fully recovered from Complex-PTSD, anxiety and depression. A combination of Ayahuasca ceremonies, MDMA psychotherapy and LSD psychotherapy allowed me to process old memories and heal from severe childhood abuse.
Towards the end of this process, I tried LSD microdosing. This was nothing short of a revelation. I discovered that by taking a small amount of LSD (around 30 micrograms, or approximately 1/5th of an average tab) in the morning, I could go about my normal life in a state of deep, meditative contemplation. I decided to keep doing it.
I first began by micro-dosing once a week, for the first three months. Then, for the last three months, every other day. This has allowed me to recognise and change my imprinted behaviour patterns in-situ. It has been like having the best psychologist in the world sat on my shoulder all day. The LSD made me aware of dysfunctional patterns of relating to people and the world around me. I was able to see behind the programatic routines that had been installed in my human biocomputer by early childhood conditioning.
In effect, I entered a highly neuroplastic state, where I was able to perceive, and then reshape, old conditioning and create new imprints. I recognised it as a state that scientist John Lilly called meta-programming.
Meta-programming is, in mechanical terms, a state where a processing system (in this case, the human nervous system) becomes aware of itself and its own behavioural sub-routines. It is then able to overwrite previous code with new code. I discovered, through this process of microdosing LSD, that I could trigger old conditioned responses, examine them, and then decide whether or not to keep the old, imprinted, response. Or, to choose a new response.
To give a concrete example: On one day, I passed by a fairground and saw a ghost train. I have not been on a ghost train since I was a kid, but I felt a fear rise up in me. In a standard conscious state, I would subconsciously have felt this fear and walked away. But, in the LSD microdose state, I was able to perceive my fear on a meta-level and investigate it.
I looked more closely at the ghost train, and was able to use the visual-spatial information to travel back through my symbolic database to identify other occasions on which I had seen and experienced the visual phenomena labelled 'ghost train'. In other words, it is as if the LSD provides the possibility to do a 'Google search' of the brain of the person experiencing it. To find all historical instances of the symbol being perceived.
The is not typically possible in normal waking consciousness.
As I went back through all the memories in my neurological database that pertained to ghost trains, I found the memory that was the core-imprint that induced my fear response. It was a memory of a funfair I was at when I was nine years old. It was one that came to the area I lived in, but the people running it were angry and rough with the kids. At one point, one of the men span our carriage around, faster and faster, until I threw up. I remembered leaving the ghost ride stumbling and crying.
In normal waking consciousness, it would have been impossible for me to search my neurobiological database to this degree, locate the core memory that triggered the fear, and overwrite it with a new memory. But with the LSD I could.
With the intention of overwriting the memory with a new imprint, I bought a ticket for the ghost train (alone) and got on board. People jumped out at me in the dark on the ride, but I screamed and laughed with a kind of carefree enthusiasm.
When I left the ride, the new imprint was installed.
So, imagine this kind of thing happening with multiple experiences, many times a day. That is what it is like to microdose LSD for six months. It was nothing short of a unique opportunity to entirely redefine who I was, and who I can be. There were hundreds of events like this over the last six months, many more disturbing that I want to go into at this point, but all of them immensely healing as I unravelled all the conditioning I experienced as a kid.
Here are a few other things that changed for me after six months of microdosing LSD:
Relationships became amazing. I was suddenly able to see the gender constructions that were indoctrinated into me as a kid. I became able to overwrite these old limiting routines and form deep, meaningful relationships on different levels, with many open minded and awake, beautiful people.
I cleared everything out of my apartment that I wasn't using and gave it to people who needed it more than I did. I started exploring the practical reality of everything, including social constructions surrounding all the junk I had accumulated that I was programmed to buy by the years of television advertising I was subjected to.
I became vegan. This might sound dramatic, and I wasn't very interested in nutrition before, but I found myself instinctively buying fruits and vegetables and cooking for the first time in my life. It was as if the LSD was resetting me to some state of internal balance that was effortless. I'd tried many times in my life before to eat more healthily, but the LSD turned that 'trying' into an effortless state of 'doing'.
I started working on the projects I really loved: I went to drawing classes; I recorded an album of piano music.
Slowly, and not without a series of challenges, as I faced my true reflection, I have become a balanced and loving human who cares about his environment and has healed from severe childhood abuse. The ayahuasca and the MDMA therapy got me part way there. The subsequent six months of microdosing LSD has opened my eyes to the mystery of reality, and grounded me in ways I could never have imagined.
Any questions, let me know. Happy to share knowledge and experiences.