Just one more motherless child
I have no one and nothing left to live for,
My life is a constant reminder of all my poor choices,
Anyone that ever cared has long since closed the door,
My heart has become a chamber of echoes and silent voices.
I awake every morning to life’s drudgery,
Emotional pain too much to offload,
Nowhere to go and no one to see,
My tattered sanity begins to corrode.
I was a promising young man with a strong mind,
No one would have ever dared to guess,
buried so deep within me, even I couldn’t find,
I struggled with terrible pain, incredible duress.
Just a child rejected by his mother,
Left to face this cold hard world all alone,
Abandoned too by my father,
No place I’ve ever thought of as home.
No one’s son, or responsibility,
All maternal attachment denied,
Why would my mother do this to me?
I guess I’m just one more motherless child.
I could’ve made something of myself,
But my damage got in the way,
Now I feel like a book on a shelf,
That ‘maybe’ someone ‘might’ want to read someday.
I am dying of loneliness and don’t understand why
I push all those away who dare to come near,
I stare out the window, looking to the sky,
As down my cheek streaks one solitary tear.
No one’s son or responsibility,
All paternal attachment denied,
Why would my father do this to me?
Making me just one more fatherless child.
A wayward soul forced to roam this world bereft of family,
To try and find some meaning, my existence to validate,
Drifting from one interest to another absentmindedly,
As my will to live rapidly begins to suffocate.
All I have ever wanted, was a place with people; let’s call it home,
A shoulder to cry on, someone to love, and someone to love me,
My heartbeat becomes nothing more than a distant metronome,
Keeping time for a wounded soul drowning in apathy.
All I ever wanted was acceptance & validation,
I want you all to know, there were times when I smiled,
I wasn’t always this seeming abomination,
I did the best I could as a motherless child.
After I am gone there is something you need to know,
I now realize that my damage is immeasurable,
Far too much for me to overcome, or outgrow,
Who I might have been; no longer distinguishable.
The damage done so long ago, and it cut so deep,
Never ever to be reconciled,
No family, no secrets to keep,
I guess I’m just one more motherless child.,
Never ever to be reconciled,
I can’t even remember exactly when it began,
Just one more motherless child,
The collapsed husk of a now broken man.
Written by Maul
I have no one and nothing left to live for,