In this video, primatologist Frans de Waal debunks some of the common misconceptions of alpha males.
Hollywood is NOT real life
We have been spoon fed an image of the popular, strong and good looking alpha male that has no sensitivity to the betas who "swim below" his level. In the real world, alpha's who act like this end up getting discarded or even killed when their reign comes to it's ultimate end.
More succesful alpha males are actually incredibly sensitive to those around them, acting as a mediator for conflict and making sure that their harem stays satisfied.
It's Not All Fun and Games
In a study on chimpanzee populations scientists discovered that the stress levels of alpha males were just as high as those on the bottom of the totem pole. The individuals who were of high status but not in the alpha position experienced the lowest levels of stress. The alpha was always in a high stress position, managing his/her community and defending against threats to their position.
Alpha males aren't always male
Most of the studies referenced in this video were about chimpanzees, but Waal also discusses Bonobos, our other primate cousin. Bonobos have a matriarchal society and therefore the alpha is actually a female.
You don't have to be the stereotypical "all brawn, no brain" in order to become the alpha of your group. While you need strength, you ultimately need more finesse and cunning in order to defend your position.
And, if you don't care about being the alpha, the top spots (just below the alpha) seem like pretty great places to be as well.