Throughout my day, i tend to experience a magnitude of different experiences which cause me
to feel a certain way or express a certain emotion. Having a job that entails communicating with
an overwhelmingly large amount of people, a great deal of whom are experiencing a type of adrenaline-type
buzz of their own as a result of the facilities that the casino establishment that i work for aims
to provide.
The amount of potential variables which have the ability to dictate and determine the state of mind
i am in while i work and even once my shift is over are gigantic and searching for and sinking into a flow state or
the correct mindset to deal with the constant spontaneity of the casino environment can often be
difficult. The expectation of being approached by people with mostly irritated, angry, and generally
negative intentions is usually the default mindset when working, as a result of this, experiencing
the very rare occurrence of an interaction with a not only polite, but beautiful and downright dreamlike
individual is like finding that winning lottery ticket.
A couple nights ago, i was approached by an extremely attractive girl, Asian in appearance, and wearing a short
black dress which caused my heart rate to increase above its standard working rate. She asked me for directions
to a certain bar within the complex, it was somewhat far away so i offered to escort her there and began to lead
the way. During the walk she got up real close to me and told me how nice it was for me to help her, and grabbed hold of my arm. Not wanting to breach any code of conduct i did not respond in any other way other than non-verbally,
telling her it was my pleasure to assist her in any way possible. As we approached the destination, the girl told
me she wished she could find a guy like me in real life, and that i should come out and party with her after work.
unfortunately that was not feasible as i had just started my shift, but just the fact that i had been heavily complimented by a girl who in my mind was absolutely unattainable made the rest of my shift fly by in a rush of bliss. After me and her exchanged contact info, i felt emotionally invincible as far as customers making me angry went, as well as more motivated. All i could think about was that girl, it made me realize how starving i was for a relationship, and how
quickly my state of mind could be altered.
I am writing this a couple days after the events of my shift, excited yet terrified of contacting this person, after the
original euphoria wears off the negative thoughts start to surface once again
Was she just drunk and was just being naive?
What if she was just being nice because i went out of my way for her?
these are the thoughts that always haunt me and stop me from potential
positive interactions, now that I've expressed them in writing though,
the path i should take has become a lot clearer.
In summary
You miss every shot you don't take.
Thanks for reading, hope to talk soon
MD