I enjoy talking and listening to the views of people of all age groups, particularly teenagers and young people in general about sex. You see, I'm an open-minded person, and no subject's taboo, and when I interact, I make teenagers feel comfortable to express what they are feeling.
Looking back, my teenage years were the most challenging time of my life, as I'm of a questioning and experimenting nature, and adults, including my mum, had difficulty discussing topics about sex.
In my time, there was preaching without education, and whatever library books were available, was taboo to be seen in those aisles.
Times are different, and the sex awareness that Generation X vs Y vs Z have/had in their teenage years differs significantly. This is because information is readily available on the internet, and sexual education is discussed openly and honestly in schools.
Reflecting on my teenage years, and early adulthood...
Porn was my sexual education.
Magazines, videotapes, YouTube, no, You Porn!
Yes, that's the one.
That was my favourite one.
I just could not get enough.
You know that thrill from watching Formula 1, binge-watching Game of Thrones till the wee hours of the morning, or even watching the final two beauty queens holding hands smiling at each other anticipating being crowned the queen?
That adrenaline rush, where you just need to watch one more? Then you say, that's the last one, for the umpteenth time?
Well, that habit went on for an extended period, until one day I had a light bulb moment of "I'm addicted to porn."
That acknowledgement hit me differently because I'm of a strong mind and thought that I was above an addiction.
I proved myself right, and I dropped that habit addiction, like a hot potato, and I no longer browse or find any satisfaction in viewing porn.
I had a chat with some teenagers and young adults recently, who highlighted that internet dating is quite the norm. I particularly like the views of my friend who is now 17 years old. She has always been comfortable having sexual discussions with her parents, and her physical changes, since she was about 14 years old. She was a rounded student, involved in extracurricular activities and school clubs, and she continues to have interests in creativity and arts. She's like the model daughter with a solid character, with no desire for a sexual relationship. Her choice is based on her observation that guys her age are highly focused on sex and she prefers to have fun with her girlfriends and platonic male friends.
Her friend who is in her early twenties whose relationship of two years ended right before a planned wedding, is currently dating.
She's confident, self-aware, and comfortable enough to have been on 5 blind dates in 7 days with different guys her age. She arranges to meet with them in public places such as the movies, restaurants and coffee shops, and she then evaluates her compatibility or red flags and decides if she wants to go on a second date.
It was entertaining to an extent and made me thankful that I'm no longer on the dating scene.
I strongly believe that child psychology, topics of sexual awareness and the changes that come with personal development, needs to be discussed at a responsible level. As this will help to reduce peer pressure and increase girls' self-esteem and boys' understanding and respectful approach to girls.
Okay, I'm aware that children might relate differently to both parents and that the topic of sex might not be one that both parents feel comfortable discussing with their teenage boy or girl. However, shying away from the topic is no good. I think it would be more beneficial if parents took a different approach by instilling wholesome values and principles in teenagers of both sexes, as I think that would be the best compass in their decision-making and in their involvement or desire to engage in sexual activity, responsibly.
Namaste 🙏
All images are mine.