HELLO MY DEAR STEEMIANS!
I just wanted to share with you my thoughts about civil marriage .
Dont take it so personal and close :)
I would love to hear your thoughts :)
Ready to take the plunge?
First of all what is marriage ? (US)
Marriage is more than just a declaration of love and commitment; it’s a legal status. This legal status is given to couples by the state government. Once a marriage is issued, it’s generally recognized in every state and every nation in the world. Marriage grants couples certain unique rights, obligations, and protections on both the state and federal level. These include:
- Tax benefits
As a married couple, you can file joint tax returns with the state and the IRS. - Health care benefits
You may have the right to make medical decisions on behalf of your spouse, as well as have unlimited visitation privileges, if they are sick. - Estate planning benefits
When your spouse dies, you’ll inherit all of their assets, without incurring taxes.
What Is a Civil Union?
A civil union is also a legal status that provides many of the same protections that a marriage offers to both same-sex and heterosexual couples. The biggest difference between a civil union and a marriage is the fact that these protections are only recognized on the state level.
Civil Union vs. Marriage
Couples who are legally married enjoy many more benefits than those who are engaged in a civil union. When comparing a civil union vs. marriage, marriages have the following advantages:
- Tax benefits on both the state and federal level. Tax benefits aren’t available to civil union couples.
- Only marriages are recognized in all states. Civil unions won’t be recognized in states, which haven’t adopted them.
- Married couples are granted immigration benefits when petitioning for a spouse who isn’t a citizen.
- Life insurance, social security, and medical benefits are only available to married couples.
Anyone (hetereosexual or same-sex couples) can engage in a civil union. On the other hand, the majority of states only allow a man and a woman to legally marry. The civil union was originally an attempt to provide same-sex couples with many of the same benefits that married couples enjoy. In actuality, little protection is given to couples in a civil union vs. marriage.
Civil Union vs. Same-Sex Marriage
The comparison of same-sex marriage vs. civil union is really no different than comparing legal heterosexual marriages and civil unions. A same sex marriage is treated as a marriage, so you’re given many of the same state-level protections that heterosexual married couples receive.
Same sex marriages are only recognized in a handful of states. These marriages won’t be recognized when you cross state borders. This means that any benefits you receive on the state or local level will be subject to federal taxation.
My opinion in civil marriage overall is that :
Often you can hear: "You did not work out with him because you came early," "civil marriage does not protect the woman and children."
Others even say that if you live with a man before marriage, he does not take any responsibility, and only putting a stamp in your passport, he works the switch "my - not mine."
You can not completely deny the logic of such statements, but you can go from the opposite. So we will proceed.
If a civil marriage is a dead end development of relations, then the official marriage is the guarantee of a happy life. Correctly? Go ahead.
- Let's deduce the formula: Wedding + marriage + two or three children = the formula of a long and happy marriage. But is it true? Let's analyze ❗
Often a man treats marriage as something self-evident. And in the event of a divorce, it is not a fact that he will willingly pay alimony. So our parents, former classmates, neighbors live. And every day they are more and more
And how can you, in a month or a year, find out what kind of man really is? Believe me, if you think that you know everything about your partner, you do not know anything. How can one understand this without a civil marriage? Marry, have children and only then understand that you are different? The choice is always there.
How to understand that it's time to live together?
- The answer is obvious - when you both want it. And do you know what happens when a man proposes to live together, but you refuse him? You show him your disbelief
Fact: men are responsible exactly as much as you trust them. If you are cautious about partners, you trust them for 10 percent, then you will attract exactly 10 percent.
- What to do then? Moving on the first day of dating? Of course not. Do not rush events. But if a man offers to try to live together - try to at least consider .Only then life will show your real reaction to how he eats, watches a video on youtube in bed, basically all his cockroaches in the head .This is like a joint repair, which will show overall stress resistance.
There is a good phrase: "Try to spend one day together without wi-fi". And it's true, because real life is not a trip to coffee shops twice a week or weekends together. It's to listen to him after a hard day's work, to find compromises, to communicate with his friends and many other things that do not immediately manifest
And where do you live after all?
- Most often everything is clear - on its "territory". This happens in most cases and I will not say much about it.
But it is worth analyzing the situation when a man moves to you, and not vice versa. This is a very responsible step and very few people are ready for it. There are several reasons: the vulnerability of one's own dignity, the fear of ceasing to be the leader in the relationship, the thoughts of others.
If this happens, then the man is getting very relaxed. He has a reduced level of motivation and desire to achieve something on his own. And instead of your expectations from the money saved for rent and the personal growth of the chosen one, the man just drifts down the river.
So think twice about living together on your territory
Worse than this can only be living together with parents...
No matter how good people they are, you need a personal space.
Where nothing will restrict you and no one will indicate how to do it or not worth it. Where you will feel free, where you want to return after work and call friends.
Of course, if the parents have a house for twenty-three rooms, the situation looks different. But usually the realities are completely different.
So why a civil marriage is good?
- Fear of loneliness, the pressure of relatives, constant wedding photos of girlfriends in the news tape - no matter how sad it did not sound, but here they are, the most frequent reasons for marriage.
- Find a guy faster, get married faster, give birth to a baby faster. And then soon 30, 40, 50, but you have not had ... sorry, what?
- Remember - there is no last train. Do not try to jump into the last car, if you are not sure about the direction of the train.
Ask yourself one question - why do you want to get married?
- But just answer it honestly. If you feel your value as a woman and found someone you unconditionally trust , then accept my congratulations!
- But if you are in a panic and just afraid to be alone, then do not make a mistake. If you turn out to be not with that person and not in those relationships, then leaving them will be much more difficult. And life in them will turn into a continuous hell.
- You are the main source of your happy future. Only on you depends the development of your relationship.
When you realize that you are special, you are so alone in the whole world and with you such will be happy your man - then you will no longer have fear. - You can be infinitely happy, love and be loved, breaking templates.
Live as you want. Love the way you want .
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this post. It means a world to me.It was just my thoughts and don't judge it so hard .If you have anything to add im always open to answer you in the comments below.
