I used to think friends weren't important
"I can play by myself, and I can work by myself. Why should I need anybody else?"
As I grew up, I found out what loneliness was and I could barely cope. Crippling depression and anxiety took me over and by early adolescence, was too afraid to try and make these kids who now snickered and called names behind my back like me.
Then I met this kid.
I, for the first time in my life, desperately wanted a friend. But not just any friend. I wanted to be this person's friend badly, because I saw a lot of myself in them.
They sat alone usually. They were dragged along occasionally by an obnoxious group of girls, but generally kept to themselves.. Reading or doing homework, as my would-be friend was an excellent student.
I found my courage to approach them one day.
I sat down at the table to give some long winded speech, but ended up being flat out honest.
"Alex, I feel like I don't have any friends.. Can I be yours?"
Alex was so happy. Their best friend since kindergarten had completely abandoned them once they had switched schools, and felt like they didn't have a pal either.
So we became buddies. We hung out every minute at school and within a year, it was well understood that Alex was the only friend allowed at my house whenever they wanted or needed.
This was all about 11 years ago, but they still remain my greatest friend.
That isn't the moral of the story though. The gift of friendship isn't just limited to calling somebody a few times a week or grabbing a beer with them every so often. Friendship is the building block of every relationship.. Yes, every single one..
From your grandma to your partner, there should be friendship between you and that person. Let's just say it builds a good foundation and give something to fall back on in hard times.
I feel like I owe Alex a great debt. They were the first to teach me what being a great friend looks like, and how to act like a real teammate.
I am now engaged to be married, and I fall back on the friendship skills my best friend and I taught eachother for years, everyday.
I use it to show better love to my fiance, because it doesn't take an intimate connection to know he loves pancakes, and after his incredible night shifts, would love even more to eat them in bed.
I use it to reach out to my father, who works extremely hard from home. It doesn't take a close dad/kid bond to see that he sometimes doesn't get enough to eat or drink when he's working, and could probably stand to eat a burger from his favorite place if I surprised him with it.
These are things a good friend does for another. This is why friendship is SO important. Strangers will rarely go the distance, but it only takes one good friend to break your walls, cross the borders, and meet you where you're at.
Please be that friend for somebody today.
-KJP