It's a weird feeling. You know, the one when you think about someone you used to be extremely close with and now they are no longer a part of your life. I'm not talking about a short term acquaintance, or some random fling from your younger days. I'm talking about the kind of person you spent EVERY SINGLE day with.. for years, maybe even decades, and now they are gone. Someone you had the best times of your life with, possibly the craziest also.
The person I'm describing can come in many different forms.. a spouse, a significant other, a parent or family member, but in my case it was a best friend. One of about 8-10 people in my life that I would put in the 'best friend' category. Some people only have one, some people never have any, but I'd be lying if I said there weren't at least 8-10 people over the course of my life that I have considered to be best friends. As a suburban kid growing up in the public school system in a fairly affluent but pretty middle-class part of town I made friends easy and by the time middle school rolled around I had quite the little posse.
6th grade was the year that the students from all 5 elementary schools (in the district) begin going to the same school and friend groups begin to merge. Tommy was one year younger than me but during the first couple weeks of my seventh grade year it was no coincidence that our paths crossed and we quickly became friends. He was a shorter kid, who knows how tall back in those days but he was a good 6" shorter than me and I was pretty average height. He was stout though, lean and mean! His dad ('Big Tom) was into body building back in his day and it rubbed off on Tommy at a young age. Big Tom put a lot of pressure on Tommy to lift weights and it really showed. He was, as he so eloquently put it, 185 lbs of 'twisted steal and sex appeal'! Those are the types of hilarious things he would say to get a laugh out of people but in all seriousness, young Tommy was jacked. He was probably only 130lbs back in those days but at his peak fitness levels he was solid 250lbs standing only 5'2". Him and I hit it off immediately and even though he was a year younger he quickly became one of the closest friends in our group.
What made Tommy special was his ability to make people laugh, and ultimately make them feel good. I would 100% without a doubt tell you that Tommy is the funniest person I've ever met in my life. I don't know how often people stop and think about it, but the ability to make people laugh can be a very powerful trait to possess. In his case it was much more than just being funny, it was an overall charisma... an energy that radiated off of him and everyone in the building could feel it. Tommy was a popular kid, but he wanted everyone to feel good about themselves and he went out of his way to make everyone around him feel good, it didn't matter who you were or what your social status was. He was the definition of a 'people person' and anyone who knew him or ever spent any time around him would tell you the exact same thing. He would do and say the most off the wall shit to get a response out of people but 9 times out of 10 he had you laughing, and if you didn't laugh and told him how dumb he was he would always have a quick witted rebuttal and regardless of wether or not it made any sense it would never fail to get that laugh out of you that he failed to get on his first try. Tommy loved people, and he LOVED animals! One story I'll never forget is when we were in high school, probably 16 or 17 at the oldest and we were cruising around smoking a joint in our other buddy's car when we accidentally ran over a squirrel and killed. At first I thought he was joking but in all seriousness Tommy demanded we turn around and go back to the squirrel... while there was absolutely no hope for this squirrel, Tommy pulled out his cell phone and called animal patrol begging and pleading that they rush to the scene and try to save this squirrel! If I remember correctly I'm pretty sure he lied and said it was a dog in hopes that they might actually come but unfortunately the squirrel was already gone and they never came. I don't know if he made that call to get a rise out of us and have a good story to tell, or because he really thought he could save the squirrel, or maybe it was just to see if he could succeed in convincing Animal Control to show up? I think it was a little bit of all three personally... but thats just what kind of guy he was.
Even though Tommy was respected and had a lot of friends, he was an easy target for people to poke fun at and because he had some older cousins and a lot of other people in our friend group had older siblings (just a few years older than us) he would get it from all angles. Myself and our friend group in addition to the older crew would constantly give him a hard time. It was all in good fun and I think he honestly loved every bit of it because he would dish it right back and everyone would have a good laugh. Ultimately though, and I realized this a long time ago but I especially realize it now, I think all that 'ball busting' back in his younger days really drove him nuts! I think he was always searching after more respect. Throughout middle school and his early years of high school he did a good job of keeping things light hearted but as he got older it was clear that he was not willing to be that person for very much longer. He was going to make a name for himself and he wasn't going to let anyone stop him along the way.
As I bring chapter 1 to an end, I want you to know I plan on writing many more chapters about my relationship with Thomas G. Anderson (AKA 'Tommy') and our friendship that lasted over a decade and a half. My goal in writing this is not to discuss the actions that ultimately put him in his current situation, but more to talk about who he was as a person before he decided to take things too far. I want to tell stories about the unique type of personality he had. I want to talk about how amazing our friendship was and tell stories of some of the good times as well as some of the bad times. I want to discuss my own thoughts on how he transformed from a popular suburban kid who had more friends than he could count and a great family, to someone who let greed blind him so badly that he wouldn't even be able to see his own world crashing down right in front of him. I am also writing this as a way to vent about the situation.
If you've made it this far... THANK YOU for reading and stay tuned for more!