So as some of you will know I've been introducing my kiddos from youngest to oldest. Just a little snippet of how they fill my life with love and laughter.
So this brings us to Master 6.
I've been trying to write this post for a couple of days now and I keep deleting it and starting again.
I in no way want people to think that we feel sorry for him or ourselves. I also don't want people to put him in a box and label him as different. Because everyone is different, every person is unique. Everyone will have challenges, it's just for some the challenges they face are visible to the outside world and for many the challenges are hidden from view.
As a member of our family Master 6 is just the same as the others. We love him just the same, we discipline him just the same. The only difference is Master 6 has autism.
This makes parenting him a challenge and a blessing. It's not always easy and there have been many nights spent stressing over the events of the past day. Had we done what was best, could we do better. How do we do better. Many nights have also been spent asking ourselves those same questions in relation to all our children.
I think every parent asks themselves if they are doing it right. Our children don't come with a user manual outlining exactly how to handle every situation.
We made the choice to treat him exactly as we do the others. He has to eat his vegetables, we just had to chop and change what we served, as like many autistic children he has some major food aversion. So while my others might not really like beans, Master 6 would literally starve and still not eat them.
We make him do his chores, again we have to find things he can manage and only in short burst as he has severely undertoned muscles and gets fatigued very quickly.
We also respect the limit of his abilities, just as we do our other children. You have to learn when to push and when to hold back. When to request more of an effort from them and when to see the signs that they have given it there all and have nothing left.
Master 6 was and still is quite. He goes through periods of selective mutism, and as a baby and small child didn't speak at all. As he has gotten older the periods of silence have become less frequent and now only under times of stress ie: a new environment, new person or major change in routine. He retreats into his world of silence to feel calm and safe and in control.
He has a trademark gesture of holding his two thumbs up. It is his go to response for a multitude of questions and situations. When meeting new people I can tell immediately if he is willing to speak. Two thumbs up means I may talk to you in an hour or so when I'm more comfortable, hiding behind mums leg means I'm done talking for the day.
When starting school I was so nervous for him. However he surprised me. He lives in his own world and was happy to remain there at school. His teachers have all been fantastic. They allow him to move about and remain silent when he fells the need. This has created an environment where he feels safe and he participates more and more.
They have had to adjust for him, just like they have every student. Some need more help reading, some with math. Master 6 just needs to be in his own world, as they have learnt he is still listening and learning even though he is constantly sensory seeking. His grades have never been an issue. I wish we could say the same for fine motor skills, this is an area he like many 6 year olds, needs a lot of assistance.
He also unfortunately, has a very high pain thrash hold. Add to that his need to go mute makes it very hard to tell when he is actually hurt. Case and point, a broken arm that nearly went undetected. If it wasn't for an involuntary wince in his sleep when we moved him he could have ended up needing surgery for the severe break.
Master 6 lives his life on his own terms. In some respects ASD has been a gift. He sees the world from a different perspective. He has shown me a new way of living. He has taught me that no one should just be a sheep in the herd.
He has taught me to respect the differences in all my children, not just him and in doing so changed the way I parent for the better.
He is a sensitive, kind and beautiful child. He has brought a smile to my face everyday just in his mere existence. He has touched so many people with his gentle spirt and caring soul.
In a family full of loud and crazy characters, he is the quiet calm that brings us so much joy.
I am so grateful he is my child and I am one very lucky mumofmany.