Thank you for sharing your story! I believe you will find, although i would love to be proven wrong, that this site is wonderful for sharing a personal tale or even venting when frustrated/upset etc. But it is not the best place to look for answers. It hurts so much when you share very stirring memories and discuss issues so close to your heart - perhaps looking for support. Do not get upset if they don't come - especially at the start. I might recommend that you turn this site into a journal for others to share regularly - even daily as a form of therapy. You will be surprised how many start to follow.
Do not blame yourself for your father's issues: he is making his choices in life and you make yours. Good luck!