Everything starts with a decision. The one we consciously make, the ones we subconsciously make, and the ones between the two. I would like to talk about the last one.
Example: I decided that from now on I will love myself as I am. Good start right? But this decision must be supported and served by words, feelings, and actions. If this is not the case, then it is not a decision but just a desire. If I want to love myself, I must think, feel and do to make that happen.
Suppose you decided you will love yourself, but when you walk in front of a mirror you sigh because you are not satisfied with what you see. Someone says you look very good today and your response is: oh, I'm wearing crap, but thanks. Or you choose to cover up for the party out of fear of what people might think of you if you wear that skinny dress.
They all serve the opposite of your decision. Then the question comes, but what if I don't believe that I'm as great as I try to believe?
If I wake up in the morning believing this day is going to be a disaster, it's a lot more likely to be a disaster. But if I believe it will be amazing, it is more likely to in fact be amazing. Self-justification is a very good technique if one learns to use positively and to influence yourself, but we need to learn to build up a belief system where wonders, great days and self-love can be supported by the right beliefs systems.
Often used paths disappeared once we stop walking them. If I had long believed that I did not look good that day, there was not a compliment I would have accepted, there was no mirror I would have liked to encounter. But if I decided that I would feel great about myself that day, then I start to walk a new, positive path and I must think, feel and act to support that decision.
My role here is to give myself every opportunity to create the belief system where I can be who I want to be. I can't afford to put this responsibility on anyone else but me. If I don't paralyze myself by giving the control away and wait for the world to convince me that I'm good enough, wait for approval, for compliments, for a pat on my back...then I can take control and convince me first, so the whole world will believe it too.
The more I walk the 'feel good in my skin' paths, the more experience I have with it and the more natural it will become. I have to decide here and now which way I want to go.
For more: https://mysevenworlds.webnode.com/