I still remember the first time my mother bought me something that I really wanted when I was a kid. It was a game console, PlayStation 1 and back in the day, that is one of the most sophisticated gaming system that we could have (other than PlayStation 2). Sure, it was only RM 300 and most of us can afford it, so what is the big deal about that? Well, I came from a very poor family and RM 300 is quite substantial. Every time I went to a game shop located in Selayang Mall, I just stared it through the glass cupboard. I noticed a few times my mother was staring at it too and I knew that she felt disappointed because she cannot gives me something that she couldn't afford. I understood that we are poor but that particular reason doesn't stop her from trying. I'm her baby boy and she wanted to make sure, poverty will not restrict me from being happy. She worked hard, took a few part time jobs at home, saving little by little and eventually she bought it. I clearly remember that, because she asked me to save some of my money to buy it but when I have enough to spend, she surprised me with the console and asked me to deposit my savings into my bank's account instead.
When I was 20, we're in a bit of a financial crisis, my mother would works extra time to earn some extra money, I took some online designing job for my daily pocket money and my little sister will fast every single day to reduce expenditure. We're in a really serious situation, my father left but we're surviving. Every single night she would called me (I studied in Shah Alam at that moment) and tried to motivate me. She was so worried that this financial crisis would affect my study and as the eldest child, I felt responsible to succeed so that I can bring our family out of this poverty den. That's why I'm quite devastated when I failed my A-Level in 2012. I cried a lot and sometimes, I just wouldn't eat and talk. She was worried for me and I still remember, she said "Don't worry, it is not your time yet, but it will be".
We're being chased out by the landlord as we can't afford to pay our rents anymore so we moved to Kamunting, Perak, where the rents was quite cheap. I felt guilty and sad when I looked at her. She was already old, but she had to work to provide. When she met my step father, everything seems simple, everything seems okay and I've never seen her that happy. I am glad with the fact that, there is someone in the family who is reliable enough to take care of her. So I put my best effort and successfully entered medical school back in 2013. My mother was so proud even though it just a medical school. Her philosophy is "An achievement is still achievement however small" so we go out and celebrate. Nothing fancy, we cannot afford that, she only treats me to KFC and gives me some advice to proceed. I vowed that I will give my best, graduate and take care of her in the future.
Last year, she was abused by my step father. A home that is seems like heaven slowly turns to hell after the birth of my 4th younger brother. Her world turned upside down and eventually she was diagnosed with Hypertensive Cardiomyopathy. Once again, I blamed myself. I'm pretty good at it. She was so fragile. When I visited her in the hospital last year, I cried a little. I don't want her to think that once again I will be affected by her condition. I don't want her to worry about that so I wept my tears and smiled. She was glad to see me. She smiled at me and I couldn't tell, either she was sick or not. Her smile was so sincere. That's the time when I've decided to find some alternatives in order to support my family. That's when I met Steemit.
Today, she came to Kuala Lumpur, she was depressed staying in Perak, so I gave her some money, bought a ticket for her and she came. I fetch her in TBS bus station and we had lunch together. She always wanted to visit some of our previous neighbor in Selayang, at least before she died (her word exactly). If I'm someone else, I might be mad at my mother for saying those word, but I'm not. I just smile. I knew she means well. It's been years and I haven't graduate from my undergraduate study yet and I haven't achieved anything that I deems worth telling. Our journey has been fulfilling. There is some ups and downs but we're always happy and satisfied with what we have. This is all because of my mother. Nothing in this world can make me smile this sincere other than seeing my mother happy and well. I pray to God, please let me fulfilled my promise to my mother before you take her away from me. She told me her kidneys were slowly failing. She has successfully brought me and my siblings up, and now it's time for us to take care of her. It's easy to lose yourself and take things for granted but being poor has raised and taught me, nothing would surpassed the love of a mother. I love her. Very much.