I have been in India now for four days. For those of you who haven’t been following my blog, I am here to complete Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training and deepen my knowledge and experience of Yoga. Arriving a couple days before classes started was beneficial because I’ve been able to explore, shop, and get to know my fellow students. They are an eclectic bunch (small group of 8) with lots of good energy and I believe our time together will be inspiring. Today was the first day of classes and it was intense. We have full days here, getting up at 5am with classes till 7:30pm. I am grateful I had time to rest prior because much energy was needed. The teachers here are amazing! In one class I was feeling so emotionally overwhelmed and when asked to describe my experience with yoga, I broke down and began to cry. I explained that My struggles in life often led me to see myself as separate from others...how I have always felt misunderstood and a deep contrast with my inner and outer world. I have always longed for love and belonging that somewhere in my consciousness I knew existed. I have an awareness that in lifetimes before I had great loves because I can still feel them lingering within me. I struggled realizing this because shame I acquired in this life had caused me to see myself as unworthy of people and aspirations. I felt I didn’t deserve to succeed and so I have blocked my own success for many years. At a time when I couldn’t bare the thought of losing the rights of my daughter and at last I no longer wanted to live in this world, in desperation I sought refuge in God. My glimpses of awakening in the past promised that there is a greater force at work and I promised myself I would reach inside for answers instead of looking for things outside myself to alleviate my suffering. Among my search, I found Kundalini Yoga which became a tool for me to get closer to God and learn to fully love and accept myself. The healing that I have managed over the past few years is phenomenal but I have always known that it is just the beginning of my journey. I have dived into every book I can find and the study of yoga has taken me further than I could have imagined. The more I learn, the more I desire to learn and grow. Nowadays, the focus I put on myself to control my actions and attachments, alleviates the desire to control the people, places, and things around me. This has resulted in much less worry and pain.
The practice today is on myself, but with every block I overcome, I come closer to the encompassing the traits of the divine. I no longer see myself as separate but as “one wave in the ocean” as has been said many times... I have known this intellectually for some time, but today I am starting to EXPERIENCE it on a much deeper level. I am most definitely at the right place at the right time here at the Ashram fulfilling my destiny, no longer prolonging it. (I believe I was always destined to become a yogini-it was just a matter of when... in this lifetime or the next... best to get on with it and stop suffering)
I look forward to sharing more of my experiences when time avails. Thank you for reading and following... ❤️🙏✨
The abundant love I have for you all today is like the warmth of the sun on your skin... ☀️❤️
Bless you all! Namaste