chapter two: the principles of genuine love
part number five
Genuine love includes dedication. because it would be too exhausting to enter into a total personal commitment with several people of the opposite sex at the same time, it is necessary to choose only one. The human being does not have enough emotional energy to maintain several love relationships at the same time. that would be very exhausting.
there are immature and inexperienced people who enter into personal commitments that later they can not honor. the light of the moon, the music, and the sentimental moments go to the head, so they make promises of love that later they can not fulfill.
Those people abandon the commitment made, go to court divorce and then go carelessly to seek a new love relationship, without even worrying about correcting their personal defects. Love will produce good results if we care about cultivating it, but many people do not care to do what is necessary to give love the opportunity to bear fruit. Sensible people make a good choice and preparation before committing for a lifetime in a loving relationship.
Genuine love is unconditional. A loving relationship subject to conditions is not genuine, and only in an atmosphere of unconditional love is it possible to lower the defenses enough to allow intimacy to develop.
There is a wife whose husband manifested love when the house was clean and tidy. She added that she needed to know that her husband loved her whether the house was clean or not.
There are also women who give sexual love only when their husband meets certain pre-established conditions for them. These wives promise to satisfy the sexual needs of their husbands, provided that they have completed specific tasks beforehand or if they meet certain standards of behavior.
These are cases of conditional love. It can be difficult to find a case of perfect unconditional love, because of the defects of human nature. our emotional psychological weaknesses prevent us from feeling totally free to give unconditional love to others. but unconditional love is an excellent ideal that we should try to achieve.
Genuine love tries to satisfy the needs of the other. the husband who gets up at midnight to bring a glass of water to his wife, acts with love. It does not take much to carry out acts of love when the spouse is affectionate and considerate. but it is difficult when he speaks uncomfortably, when he refuses to listen, when he is late for meals and when he neglects duties that are urgent.
In the face of such problems I have developed what I call the test of love.
A person must respond with love when their spouse has acted uncomfortably. When we can dedicate ourselves to satisfy the needs of the other spouse even if ours are postponed, we are exercising genuine love.
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