You speak like a spiritual warrior!
I love hearing this resolute energy you're exuding here, bro!
I really resonate with what you're expressing here.

I recall something my dad used to say to me a lot when I was younger when I'd decided to become a full-time performing artist. He said, "get something to fall back on, son."
He meant well, but even in my optimistic youth I knew he was wrong.
I always replied with, "If I get something to fall back on, then I will (inevitably fall back on it)."