It seems like everywhere I look lately there is advice on how to wake up at 5:00 AM and not be tired. Tried and tested morning routines to revolutionize your day. This is not that post. I often wake up at 5:00 but I have not found any sort of magic recipe to not be tired except to go to bed at 8:30 the night before and sleep uninterrupted all the way through. Honestly, even then I would quite likely still be worn out. My only advice is coffee, and a desire to persevere.
Most of these blogs break down their advice into 5-10 steps to jump start your day. They are very motivational, but some of the advice just isn’t for everyone. I will never be someone who enjoys meditating or gratitude journaling, for example. That being said some of the advice shows up on almost every list and I do think that’s because it is truly sound advice.
For the time being I’m on maternity leave and will be for a full 12 months, as I live in Canada where this is pretty standard. My husband works from home which has been one of few pandemic blessings, in that he’s able to help me out a lot more while we adjust to two kids. I will eventually return to work, and I know our routines will have to be reworked when that happens, but I think we’ve found a nice groove for now.
So here they are, my 6 steps for a somewhat successful start to my stay at home mom day. Maybe they will help you find your groove, or maybe they will have no impact for you whatsoever, that’s ok too. I’m all about Mamas finding what works for them and ignoring all the rest.
1. Wake up before your kids and avoid the snooze button like the plague (too soon?)
The general advice in most of the morning routine posts is to avoid hitting the snooze button and to wake up before your kids. When this is doable I do think this is excellent advice. I will say, if you have particularly young children, or babies, this is not always a reasonable suggestion. Toddlers are strange creatures who may decide they need to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn for no particular reason This doesn’t mean you need to start dragging yourself out of bed at 2:00 AM to beat them to the punch. Don’t beat yourself up if you are too tired from a long night with a wakeful baby and need a few extra minutes… or hours. Sometimes we just need to accept this one isn’t going to happen every day.
That being said waking up before my toddler is one of the best ways I can ensure a good morning. I don’t worry much about setting any alarms because my baby is on a pretty regular schedule of waking up at 2:00 AM, 4:00 AM and 5:00AM to nurse. So I try to sleep in between feeds until 5:00 and then get a start on my day. This does not happen every day. Some days after a particularly fussy night, or just too many early starts in a row I find myself falling back asleep until 7:00 when baby wakes me up again, and on very tired mornings falling back asleep until 8:30 when inevitably my toddler wakes up. These are not my best mornings.
2. Engage your brain enough to stay awake, but avoid social media
This is another pretty standard offering on these lists, usually suggesting journaling, meditating or something of that nature. To be honest, I have zero interest or time to start journaling in the morning and I am not the meditating type. My main goal in a morning routine is to get everyone including myself clean, fed and dressed in a reasonable time frame. It's also nice to maybe feel a little in control of the day before the God of Chaos, otherwise known as my toddler, has a chance to derail the whole thing. So instead of specific advice, I think you should find your own way to engage your brain enough to be functional through the rest of your morning routine.
That can be done any way you like, listen to a podcast, do a sudoku, recite your favourite scene from Romeo and Juliet, whatever gets you awake enough to get through the rest of your routine. I fully agree with not picking up your phone or any social media first thing, unless you have a lot more discipline than me, it will eat up way too much of your time.
If I manage to be up between 5:00 AM and 7:00 AM it is usually because I’m nursing my daughter, which is a lovely cuddly way to begin the day but does not exactly get the synapses firing. A warm snuggly baby on your lap is a real good way to put yourself back to sleep if you’re not careful. It also doesn’t leave you many free hands to use for journaling. I tend to turn on a morning news show, it gives me something to focus on, usually has much lighter news and lifestyle stories than the evening news and it is handsfree, which is a big bonus for a nursing mom. Depending on how much my daughter has been nursing I may also use this time to quickly eat a granola bar or something equally convenient. Breastfeeding leaves me feeling like a half-starved wild animal some days.
3. Get moving!
Another solid bit of advice on most lists, but it doesn’t have to be a full body, intensive cardio workout. In fact, it doesn’t need to be more than a couple quick stretches if you are not the morning exercise type. Just enough movement to get your joints loosened up and your blood flow returning to your extremities.
When I’ve finished nursing my daughter she will have hopefully fallen back asleep and I can get her down long enough to do a short series of exercises. Now, I am not a fitness fan, and I am most definitely not the early morning run and workout type. I usually do a series of carpal tunnel exercises and shoulder stretches, because breastfeeding always makes that flare up for me. Then I do a short series of pelvic floor exercises, because I’m only 5 months post partem and I dream of one day being able to sneeze without crossing my legs. On a good day I add in a few other stretches and squats etc, I mean, I’m moving anyway now so I might as well.
Often my daughter wakes up at some point during this process. If I am lucky she is happy to play and engage with me while I exercise next to her. If I’m unlucky I have to stop and nurse her again before I complete the whole set. Then, I tell myself that I will make time for a proper workout later in the day once the kiddos are up and my hubby has started his work from home day in the kitchen. I never do find time for this proper workout, but one day, maybe, I will.
4. Plan out your day.
The general advice here is to sit down and write out your to do list, look over your probably beautiful and colour coded planner, make your grocery list and spend a few blissful moments in organization heaven. I do not find I have much time for all that in the morning. I tend to make my lists in the evening, just after I get my toddler to bed.
I do look over the lists and review any upcoming events every morning though, so that I know what to expect for my day and my week. This is also when I take a few minutes to take my vitamins and drink some water if I haven’t done so yet.
I have a regular planner, no fancy scrapbook style, calligraphed bullet journals here. They are beautiful, but also time consuming...maybe one day. I also have a master to do list that I add to and check off from for about a week or two at a time before I revisit and rewrite it. Maybe I’ll do a post on my planner/organization strategies later.
5. Get dressed and put yourself together
The advice here usually includes encouragement to do your makeup and hair etc. because you will feel so much better if you do. This is nonsense to me, if you feel more confident and ready for the day with a little make up, have at ‘er. I find it unnecessary and more of a pain than anything. I do always get dressed for the day though. You will have to decide for yourself if you need makeup to feel productive or if you can get just as much done in your jammies all day.
After I “exercise” and my daughter is settled either sleeping or gazing at her playmat toys, I sneak off to turn on the coffee maker and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth, comb my hair and splash some water on my face. Then I quietly pull on whatever outfit I laid out for myself the night before, usually yoga pants and some kind of comfy top. Most days this is about as intense as my beauty routine gets. Why? Because I’m tired, because my daughter will cry if I am out of sight too long, and honestly it’s a pandemic, who am I gonna see anyway? If we have plans or zoom calls or even if I just really feel the urge to, I will sometimes do some makeup, but this is rarely part of my morning, I’ve just never been the type to wear makeup everyday.
The key to this part of my morning is absolutely prepping everything the night before though, from the coffee maker to laying out my clothes I find it much easier to have it done in advance.
6. Tackle a task early
I find this to be good advice as well, regardless of how big or small the task is. These days I try to throw in a load of laundry if I can, and unload the dishwasher. Once, when I was pregnant, I washed all my floors before 7:00 AM, I may have been nesting pretty heavily at that point. Regardless of the task you do, I think it’s smart to pick something, even if it’s just making the bed. It lets you feel productive right of the bat, and even if the rest of the day goes downhill, at least you got one thing done.
So that’s it…
If all of this gets accomplished before my husband is out of bed I generally consider that a win. It’s always nice to have a few minutes in a nice quiet, mostly empty place in the morning.
Somedays, if I had an early start I have time to mix my husband and I some coffee in our travel mugs to stay warm and set the coffee maker up for the next day. Then if everyone is still asleep, I will lay out everything I need for my toddlers breakfast and sit down with my coffee for a few minutes to watch the news and maybe check my phone or my email. This rarely happens but it is so enjoyable when it does.
You may have noticed I missed a couple things, like getting my children up and eating breakfast. I usually eat breakfast once my family is awake, and I of course have a loose routine I follow that gets everyone else dressed and fed as well. This post really just brings us to the point when my family gets moving.
Before anyone wonders about my husband sleeping longer than me, I should point out that he is a bit of a night owl and so he quite often stays up later than me and takes the first shift if our baby wakes up. This gives both of us a little time to ourselves without anyone having to take on an extra load to get that time for eachother.
By the time I’ve completed the above my husband is usually up, and sometimes my toddler too. Once everyone is awake I start in on the rest of the morning routine. This means potty time and singing songs to my potty training little boy, then brushing his teeth and hair and then into his chair for breakfast. This sounds easy and well coordinated, but my son hates all three of these things so it rarely goes quickly.
Then I usually rush through some yogurt, real quick at this point as my daughter is likely starting to fuss. I go to nurse her again while my husband supervises breakfast and gets started wrking. Then I clean up breakfast and get my son and daughter both dressed in whatever clothes I laid out the night before, just about the time my husband starts on the daily zoom meetings. It’s not perfect but it’s working for us!
One last tip, what are your essentials?
This is my perfect morning. I don’t manage to do it without being tired and if I am honest I only get about 1 or 2 of these a week. Most days someone (Me) sleeps in, or someone (the kiddos) wakes up early and throws everything off. I find it helpful to decide what parts of the morning are non -negotiable and to have a back up plan for the late starts.
For me, my non-negotiables are coffee and brushing my teeth. If I can manage those two things before I start looking after everyone else, I will have an ok day. I know I will find time to brush my hair and get dressed eventually, and I may even be able to squeeze in some exercise while my toddler has breakfast. Of course, all of the toddler and baby care is non-negotiable as well, but those aspects happen regardless, they can’t really be avoided or forgotten.
If I am having a late start, it may mean that breakfast for my son has to be a little easier than usual. I try to keep homemade frozen waffles or pancakes or breakfast muffins on hand for these days and they are absolute sanity savers for me. I also prep my coffee maker the day before so I can just press a button in the morning and be on my way.
I do not have any special formulas for an early morning start. I can’t help your baby sleep or guarantee an early bedtime the night before. But I can say that having an idea of how the morning will go makes a big difference to my mood and sanity.
On the days I manage an early start, the quiet moments with just me and my baby girl are some of my favourite moments. On the days where I don’t manage any of it, I feel a bit off, but the day goes on anyway, so I try to roll with it. On the days where I can get dressed, I know I’ll have an good day. Most days though, I can at least manage to make coffee and brush my teeth, which is just fine by me. Good enough is in fact actually good enough most of the time.
Until next time, be safe and be kind!