At some point, you simply remove from your life the words "must", "should", "feel ashamed", "harmful", "and what people will say," and thus cease to live to please others. It is unpleasant to refuse, of course, and I do not want to offend anyone at all, but it's much more terrible to live not your own life, to engage in self-flagellation for what you allegedly did not do. And think - "oh, if ...". Admit yourself to who you are and accept yourself. Start loving. And do not punish yourself in thoughts or actions.
I dissolve in life, in its diversity, I get pleasure from it. I allow myself to be myself.
And do not listen to anyone who says that we are here for something else. We all live our experience. And we can brighten the life of other people, make it better, but only from the heart, not living it for others, without sacrificing ourselves.
Everyone has his own way and everything should be fun.
Eat what you want, love someone you want, wear what you want and do what you like, there will not be another life for it. And there are no insoluble problems. Everything is in our heads.