I confess to having neglected steemit in recent days, due to lack of inspiration or perhaps boredom or perhaps who knows, the house that requires to be cleaned more thoroughly with the heaters lit.
You and i mean me , I want to be more positive but the lack of a decent job and the constant feeling of having a sword of Damocles on my head it's not easy , maybe the problem is the winter for which I have not yet been done well, i still need to buy new wood and solve some problems with the fire place, with lots of blasphemies because solving these problems cost a lot and actually i dont have a regular job and the steem market it's so low, i must find some inspiration for blogging instead I often find myself at home and keep me company I have only the cold and a big mess in the head. Not a good company, myself in this moment.
Add to this the lack of desire to write and interact with the human world.
Am I an assault of asociality?
Maybe yes, these days I find myself surprised to look at a cell phone, computer and every electronic device, i want put them outside the window, eager to hide in the heat under the covers, while outside the wind hits the windows and hibernate myself like some animals, then wake up in spring , with the sun, the scent of flowers and a renewed energy and a good mood.
Me and the energy lately we have a falling relationship, the exhaustion seems to have settled on me since 'autumn and does not mention to leave.
I always loved to write and i have not problems with writing, but un these days is like i miss my inspiration totally, funny isn't it?
But i miss a lot pf other things to.. It's a bad bad feeling...
Yet I continue to devote myself to my usual activities, going out, reading, watching TV series, playing role-playing games,searching a decent job, steem, posting on social media, cleaning the house, cooking, visiting some friends, selling make up ..
But many of these lately bore me, I suffer from a form of anhedonia that makes me the gray world.
In fact, not only the writing has risen but also the other fields, where a lot of motivation and desire drop. Guilt of the winter that leads me to laziness or just a depressed moment?
I do not know, but I feel a lack of stimulation that at times scares me.
I think that I think too much and I think of those who will dedicate themselves to the search for something new that I am passionate about. Perhaps, like some animals, I need to mute and abandon old interests in favor of new, more alive, more suited to the new me.
Hoping that the motivation returns, strong and powerful and overwhelms me a wave of enthusiasm for something that overwhelms me with hope.