A Memoir
Our journey together here is soon to end and therefore few last guiding words are in place.
It may seem to you strange at first but now, after you have gone through so much on your journey and generally in your life, and after you have begun to allow the kingdom of love to reveal itself in your personal reality, a fear crawls in.
you fear that you might not be able to properly function in your new reality, with your TrueLove, where new rules (non-rules) apply. That fear may be so intense that you may deliberately halt your progress. On the one hand, you keep dreaming about TrueLove and perseveringly summoning it into your life but on the other hand, you had gotten so used to live in the old world so you find it now difficult to let go.
You want to feel and experience TrueLove - “show up already!” – but at the same time, you feel stuck. On the one hand, your life is more peaceful now, less personal dramas, much fewer struggles at work or with family members, but you also feel that you stand still in place and the world around you is going fast forward. You want a change and you want it now!
Credit: Göttingen University
Feeling stuck during the third phase, the reunification phase, should not be confused with the victim syndrome - “this is life and there is nothing I can do about it” – which you had been saturated with before you embarked on your journey. Back then you were still preoccupied with daily challenges routine hardships, emotional pains or self-scolding but now, you are different. Now you have reached a place of inner serenity. Now you are not victims anymore and you know very well that you run the show of your life.
Yet still, something is missing. “If I am the creator of my life”, you may ask, “then why do I still feel that I have this metaphoric chains on my legs that prevent me from soaring high and far? Why can’t I already create all the things that I want for myself?!”
Nonetheless, you are the creators indeed and thus you do indeed have the keys to unchain those chains. Firstly, you must recognize and get acquainted with those chains; then you will simply need to choose to let them go.
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The two mental handcuffs that prevent progress are the “suffering blockage” and “the separation blockage”.
Suffering
The former is a psychological attribute that every human has decided to wear at one point in their past. It has many faces like financial suffering, physical suffering, altruistic suffering (that is when you suffer for the sake of someone else) and, obviously, suffering in relationships. Some people have become, along the years, great experts in this field and they can greatly suffer for the sake of others. They would complain, indeed, but at the same time, their belief system created the situation in which the suffering for others, the victim-hood, gives them meaning and purpose in their lives.
Part of the ability to “live with everything in your life” is to accept other people’s suffering and to allow them to go through their processes without forcing your own agenda. When you see your daughter cries right after emotional phone-conversation with her boyfriend your common tendency is to rush to her rescue and to try to fix the problem. You try to redeem her from the pain she is going through. Although you may feel that you serve as a good parent the truth is different.
If you let your daughter face her pain and go through her own processing phase then you might be surprised by the outcomes. She would learn then to balance her emotions; to refrain from giving her powers to others, and you will learn to accept all things as they are.
Suffering can play a prominent part in the lives of people who fight for noble causes like global peace or saving the environment or another value that aims to eventually make the world better. There is nothing inappropriate in those values per-se but only in the way to achieve them because any battle for something automatically creates opposed energy that blocks the initial momentum. Therefore, such people involve themselves in Sisyphean struggles that drain them and create in their bodies suffering that sooner or later may release itself through disease or illness.
Suffering is also a permanent residence in our life memories and those that relate to relationships in particular. We insist on recalling the difficult moments from our previous relationships, the moment of separation, the moment when we discovered that our spouse had been cheating, the arguments or the violence. Some who falsely believe that the road to love should be tormenting excel in evoking and restructuring only the dreadful recollections that happened many years in the past. Since we create what we focus on it’s obvious that such behavior extremely sabotages their future relationships or even the one they have now.
When you allow the chain of suffering to be released you will realize that you will have also transformed the blocked energy to one of creativity and joy. TrueLove is easy to achieve and it resides in the kingdom of happiness, feast, and joy. Therefore, the suffering around you that you insist on carrying literally prevents that love from reaching you.
Many people fear that if they release the suffering and really allow themselves to fully live, they may have to face dire ramifications. However, in your current state of being, that is after you have completed the first two phases and went into the reunification phase, you have a built-in automatic mechanism that prevents any mistakes from happening. This mental shield makes sure that only the appropriate events can happen in your life. Even if you deliberately tried to “harm” yourselves, to get involved in a destructive relationship, for example, that mechanism would automatically act and end the problematic relationship. This mechanism is a tool that the kingdom of love – you – use to ensure your safe arrival to its territory despite temporary diversions that you may make.
Releasing the suffering
First, release the expectations you have about life and about yourself.
As children, we are bombarded with heavy mental structures from parents and elders whose intentions are good. They brain-wash our minds - "be successful, achieve goals, fulfill expectations that are good for you". Unfortunately, and generally speaking, they cannot know what would best serve us in our mature life. No one but us can know what our life’s purposes are and what should be the path that we had chosen to take. A child that grows-up with the heavy burdens of foreign expectations is doomed to suffer all their life for not fulfilling those expectations to their fullness. Therefore, release the expectations that don’t serve your life and in particular release the loaded emotions, feelings or indoctrinations from your childhood and adolescence.
Indeed, it is not easy to release those memories because clinging on the suffering grants us with the soothing and caressing feeling of being a victim. We comfort ourselves by the self-pitying behavior and through that develop hope: “We have suffered so much, poor us, surely someone will come soon to reward us for all that agony”. The truth though is totally different because if we want Realization we must exhibit our creatorship and being a victim is absolutely the opposite. Therefore, as long as you hold tight to the suffering in your life you stuck yourself in place, like a nail inside a wooden log.
As a mental exercise of detachment from suffering make a rule for yourself that says the following: “from now on I will make a special effort to only remember happy moments that revolved a sad event from my past”. If your heart was broken, if your spouse betrayed you, if you were abused and those memories keep coming back into your mind make a deliberate effort to bring along with them some happy memories from that same relationship; a gift that you might have received; a romantic dinner in a fancy restaurant; a loving hug etc. In this fashion, you are going back to the past and imprint there new energies that have a real influence on your presence in the now. Be persistent with this exercise and very soon the sad memories or the chronic painful storages that you have about your past will fade away and will not bother you anymore.
Releasing this suffering will cause you to feel better, lighter and more peaceful as if a kind-hearted fairy cast away a bad spell that had accompanied you for a long time. You can be your own redeemers, you do have the powers!
Credit: Joseph Elayani
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The second blockage - separation
Some feel stuck because of the separation factor. Be true with yourself now – how united with yourself do you feel? To what extent do you believe that you and your bigger self are one unit? Your mind may accept by now the notion that you and spirit are one but the feeling still remains different - you are separated; there is “you” and there is “spirit”.
This feeling of being separate from spirit mostly present in the lives of people who allow themselves to be influenced by religious world-views. One of the foundations of almost any institutional religion on earth explicitly states that God is separate from the human. To fix this gap, some religions have created divine mediators that would redeem the human or would guide him/her to reach the godly realms. You are honored and respected for whatever religious stances you hold but understand that you will not be able to achieve TrueLove unless you release the belief that you and God are separated. God is not separate from you and I say this in the most literal meaning. As soon as you are aware of that blockage you release it. It’s simple as that!
The reunification
You are reuniting with yourselves; this is not something new that I reveal. The more you are patient and allow that loving part to penetrate your daily life the more it will; the more you give up your need to control every second of your life the more you welcome this mystic force to navigate your experiences and infuse it with beautiful moments.
Then, at the most appropriate time, your true love will present himself (herself) at your doorstep. You will touch them and know that you are whole, that they are appropriate. You will have no doubt about the reunion with them. You will both possess the same essences that both of you have developed along the journey – honesty, passion, determination, fidelity, sharing, inner joy, and more. Your relationship with others and mostly with that TrueLover of yours will be independent; you will not feed on their energy and they will not feed on yours. The relationship will enrich your life rather than decay it; it will rejuvenate your energy rather than consume it.
Those TrueLovers in your life are only the materialization of a much grander creation, beyond the earthly dimension alone. It is the creation of the Realization of yourself, the bond with that part of divine consciousness that you Are.
Some call that part God.