Here, and for the first time anywhere, we have full coverage and the actual words from the man himself.
Good Morning, Good Afternoon, or Good Evening
To you sir, ma'am, it, these, those and them over there.
My name is Tommy Tater and I'm reporting live here at the luxurious estates located at or around the corner of Trender Avenue and Ned Street.
Today we have something very special to share with you folks at home and that's why your favorite show was interrupted at the most inconvenient time.
Earlier an anonymous tipster calling himself The Informant dropped us a line and said three things:
- @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself.
- Art contest.
- The bird flies at noon.
It's Noon Now
And I think I see him!
Yes! That's him! Pan the camera over there by the dumpster, Cam. Show the people at home what a true spectacle looks like! Mr. Himself has not been seen in public for nearly twelve years and today he's stepping out from his mysterious lair to actually speak to us! I promised myself I wouldn't cry but there is a time and place for tears of joy and that is here and now.
As he approaches, I'd just like you folks at home to know that I know my role. I will not, under any circumstances, interrupt this man or make any sudden movements. This is his moment. Let's have a listen to what he has to say.
Hey. What's Up? It's just you two? Where's everyone else?
Everyone else, sir?
Yeah, everyone else. I was expecting more than Tommy freakin' Tater and his trusty sidekick Cameraman Cam from local public access television. Aren't you supposed to be at a farmer's market somewhere reporting on the size of those pumpkins? What's going on here? Where's ABC and NBC and CBC and the BBC? Where's Alex freakin' Jones, man? I showered—for this? I'm entering a contest here you know. Nearly two years ago the world would stop spinning for an event like this. Has the world really changed this much in twelve years? Why is that car not flying?
Sir, I...
Shh.
You see this picture of a frog or toad or whatever it is?
Apparently
took that picture and then entered it into round one of
's contest.
Have you heard of this man known as
Of course! I mean, who hasn't?
Exactly.
The Mission: PAPA-PEPPER'S WILD & STRANGE CONTEST SEASON 17 - ROUND 2 - ART
So now it's round two. Enter @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself. Ding-ding.
The Papa Pepper wants wild and strange. "Take the winning photo and alter it," he said, so I did just that.
Behold!
Wow! That's...
Remarkable!
What is it though?
That's my ticket to the moon, baby.
The moon?
Yes, the moon. Haven't you heard the news? Elon Musk knows a billionaire. The billionaire wants artists to go to the moon with him. I'm an artist. I'm going to the moon!
I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone even though no birds were harmed in the making of this extravaganza because
The press conference is over, no further questions, thanks for coming. Ciao!
Well folks tuning it at home, there we have it. The moon! Can you believe it! The legendary @NoNamesLeftToUse, making history, one day at time. Incredible.
This has been Tommy Tater reporting live. Stay good out there, friends. Live long and proper. Goodnight.
Is the mic off, Cam? Good. You know, I hope they leave him there. Ha ha ha ha ha! Let's go grab a coffee...
© 2018 @NoNamesLeftToUse.