Last night a was waking up and my room was covered insects like is was the end of the world.
A turn on the light..and yes its nothing there. This happen many times. my believe what dreams are at the brain is doing a clean up , archive memories. So it's a bit strange thing to dream off.
So what going on..?
I have a psychologist on Friday so we talk a little about this and had a medical hypnosis on reason on these dream. Like this week it's been a good week a have been voltmeter working in the front at work. Just had one incident of freezing yesterday so in a 8 hours day ahead 10 min of fail. A did nothing wrong a had a customer up in my work doing a complicated job with a short time limit. no problem there.
So way do a have this dreams.
a was in metrotown to day cut my hair at the "Man Cave Barber shop" 21 cad 20min thumbs up
Its all coming down to and old old part of myself the kid ho cant do anything wrong if he is doing anything a get tested put i a box and brandied. As if a did it ones am always going to be like this
So in my hypnoses we are searching for what happen.
Then it appears. 2 days a go my father sending me a sms It was a overdue bill in my name if he should pay it. When u do a address chance it all get screwed opp. A had cancel this service long time ago but updating etc so it was a mistake took me like 5 min to fix it.
But just this one sentence triggered the kid part of me. The boy in the box me comes to and fail.
And this part of me are 100 sure am going to lose my job next day so In the background he is just always whispering in my ear u are going to fail u going to lose ur job U are going to be out of money or no job in the winter u are not going to get the visa or no money u need to go home.
more metrotown
Am better now than ever, but am so broken on a basic level and a feel a can't fix it back home Just thinking on going home giving me a headache. It's interesting just when am writes this a can feel the pain is sneaking up on me, my neck is locking up feel like ants is all over my face.
sounds like its terrible but it's also interesting for me Like something so small can make me have horrible nightmares.
Like 50 characters in a sms and its was just a questions. Nothing wrong at all. It's just old tigges ho do not care of the message just ho its from.
And the thing at work. Like my boss has told every one am working in the back, but a voluntary went in the front 95% of the day was a great success but the 5% doing this to me.
And like yesterday a got my vacation money from my old job and it was way more than a exeptid. So it going to cover my medical insurance next year. emergency buffer are at a comfortable level, But still my kid do not believe anything,
in a way a victory a have suppressed him so hard so the only thing he can do is making me see things in my dreams.
A now all my tactics is working well my breath exercises and the smartest one of them all my walking home. Just this week a have been working late every day so no real room on doing my waking home and we had a some crazy hot days. So this is more a warning on remember to do my breath exercises. Even if it seems it's no room for it.
sierra is escaping to the back in the heat
On a different note a have started to stream games on dlive and after a few fail ones a got it working so am going to do it an a regular basis, and it went very good a think. on my big plan on the podcast just Ned to get comfortable So + this on everything its not bad at all.
Have a good weekend :)