She’s too much

“She was too quiet, or she was too loud.
She took things seriously, or not seriously at all.
She was too sensitive, or too cold-hearted.
She’s too much; too big, too confident, too soft, too edgy.”

I’ve heard bunch of judgements,
people even called me names.
I think, sometimes bad things have to happen before good things can
to anything, to anyone…

I have been told
that I own a beautiful soul,
but a well of deepness and mystery
and that I can be distrusting.

I wear my heart on my sleeve
with duct tape, padlocks and extra caution.
I’ve built walls around me.
For I’m afraid that if I let my guards down,
someone or something might mess with my heart next to my mind.

But there’s a story behind everything.
And I’ve been through a lot of things.
I would apologize for my mistakes and unintentionally hurting someone,
but I won’t apologize for being who I am.

I’ve made horrible decisions in my life.
I am still committing mistakes.
And I, will continue to learn from them.
As I am growing older
I will try to be softer
but this doesn’t mean that I will be weak.

I’ll be braver,
bolder,
bold enough to let it hurt me.
I lived before the hurt and I will long after it too.

I will let you judge me
will let you misunderstood me
even let you gossip about me
but remember that, your word of me has no significance at all.

I’ll stay kind,
bubbly and loud,
committed to love,
outcry my rants,
and free in my authenticity.
No matter what you say, I won’t doubt my worth.
The beauty of my truth.