A stab like a thorn stabs the mind, unable to speak sincerely when the face is faced with social life. In front of others, my face looks like a successful person holding happiness but my heart seems to want to get out of the nest screaming asking the medical team to treat the deep wounds that never stop throbbing piercing the scars that have left.
Hope has been swallowed by the storm of failure, tears continue to flow every night out of the gaps of innocent, flawless eyeballs. Time has gone without leaving a trace of a smile, never realized age continues to increase following the trail of failure but the support of the tree trunk with an empty gaze continues to envelop the darkness of the night world without the moon and bright points of starlight.
Higher education cannot elevate my status as a child who still hangs on to the hard work of my parents. Like fighting fate, the strong current cannot be dammed with a bachelor's degree, I am only swept away by the strong flow of river water hitting rocks, hitting the heart and mind until it is difficult to heal.
My limitations as a human being cannot accept reality and only rely on logic, I live for a purpose but the universe is in control without me understanding what to do. The wheels no longer turn, feeling always below without a turn lifting and throwing away misfortune at the peak of happiness.
Time returns to the morning when the eyeballs open along with the sound of the rooster crowing knocking on consciousness to wake up from the journey from the dream world. There is no more common sense in me, how to rise from the torture of the burden of thoughts and the words of my parents. I am really useless, hard words arise in my heart, my heart continues to beat even though my body is still lying on the bed.
If I go back to the past, it is sad to remember today's reality. Excessive expectations have made life sink deep into the Mariana Trench. My facial expression is split in two parts, a smile is forcibly exposed when in front of guests but tears are shed when in a position alone.
It is unimaginable, years have passed, it turns out that my life is in two shadows of white and black. The future looks bright when the light shines illuminating the goal but the black shadow will always follow ½ of the brightness of the future of happiness.
What should I do today? Memory Back to three years ago..two thumbs typing letter by letter forming words, sentences to stories of sadness buried as deep as the ocean to be displayed on the Hive platform.