LOVE LIKE HIS - Chapter 29 - PURPOSE
Gary is completely oblivious to the fact that he was being followed. Truth be told, he and Ray never even noticed Cromwell’s car in the church parking lot. Sure, they are still concerned about him - who wouldn’t be? - but after praying about the situation with Pastor Wilkins they are more at ease about the situation.
Ray was tired out already and wanted to head home for a nap. After all that he has been through emotionally lately, who can blame him? Plus, he’ll be starting his job tomorrow. It’s hard to believe that he’ll have been out for a week already. Man, how time flies!
Gary just needs to do some thinking, reflecting, and more praying.
This week has been hard for him.
He knows that he has been doing the right thing, and he’s even had years of planning leading up to it. Still, this has been hard. All the preparation in the world can't alleviate the difficulties of actually living it out. He had been completely in love with Julia and their future together was looking so bright. All that he had ever dreamed of or desired was there, unfolding right before his eyes. A heaviness overwhelms Gary as he reflects on what his life used to be.
He’d trade it all and change that entire night if he could, but it’s just not possible. This is the hand that he has been dealt. This is his lot in life. His dreams of having a family are over now, and his wife is dead.
Many in his situation would blame Ray. Many not in his situation already have. There is no separating what happened from Ray’s involvement. From a human perspective, the blame should rest upon the shoulders of Ray, which is why he took the rap for the accident. Gary doesn’t always look at things from man’s point of view though.
No, this event was allowed, and from time everlasting it was known that it would be occurring. It is certainly not ideal, but not much is anymore. The world is a fraction of what is used to be; forever tainted and marred by death, destruction, and disease. In a perfect world, such accidents would be impossible…
But Gary doesn’t live in a perfect world.
His reality is that his wife is dead and Ray killed her. Gary really only had two choices. Either he could forgive Ray, or not. That was about it. It sounds so simple just to wrap it up in such words though. “Forgive” is overused, abused, and cheap. Life can be a rapid succession of “I’m sorry” followed immediately by the customary “I forgive you.” Such does not capture the essence of what really happens though.
When a real wrong is done, pain comes with it. The pain hurts, even if it is “just” emotional. This is why the forgiveness costs something, because the pain is real. To turn away from the guilty party is the common choice. It’s man’s way of putting a “band-aid” on the wound. They can take the guilt while I try to heal. However, to forgive in the midst of pain is like turning the fresh, open wound back towards the one that made it.
It is open and bare. It is vulnerable. It is naked. It is without reservation. It is not cheap!
If forgiveness is the opposite of unforgiveness, then it comes down to love and hate. In the living out of unforgiveness is hatred. They have wronged me, so I hate them. I will not forgive, for they do not deserve it. I suppose that none of us deserve it. Gary continues to think.
Sure, he could have hated Ray. He could even start hating him now. It was his drinking and driving that turned Gary’s precious Julia into a mangled bloody mess that night. Hatred would come easily if Gary let it take root. But where would that get them? Ray’s life would be exponentially worse, and so would Gary’s.
No, love is the cure, and forgiveness is the way. God knew what would happen, and who would be involved. God allowed Ray to enter Gary’s life. He even allowed it to happen in this way.
When faced with such a situation, many would just chose to hate God.
While it may be a seemingly valid option, it too would solve no problems, and it would bring no peace. Looking back, Gary can see how God has used him in the life of Ray, both physically and spiritually. He can’t deny that in hindsight. He was what Ray needed.
But what about Cromwell?
Cromwell has been hurt deeply, just as Gary was. Unlike Gary, Cromwell has no idea who is responsible for the death of his family. Also, Cromwell has chosen another route to attempt to deal with the pain.
There is no forgiveness there, and there is no love. Cromwell has no one to focus his attention on, so every “bad guy” becomes the next focal point for all the hatred and bitterness that the detective possesses. He has become a one man army on a constant battle march. He has declared outright war on every suspect and his thirst for punishing others will never be quenched.
In fact, if he ever did actually manage to find the one responsible, there is no way that his quest could end there. No matter what he did, it would be completely lackluster. Prison wouldn’t change what happened. Death couldn’t bring them back. No, this situation is a bottomless pit for Cromwell, and any attempt to fix the situation would be an anticlimactic failure.
Whether Cromwell understands this or not Gary can only guess. Chances are it doesn’t matter anyway. They have just become the next ones for the detective to cross off of his list.
Cromwell’s mind has long been made up about Gary and Ray anyway. Guilty as suspected. Cromwell is completely convinced about why he is looking into this case. Someone else has other plans, though.
Gary believes that the type of love and forgiveness that he has towards Ray is what the detective needs to see right now. So much effort and energy have been put into loving Ray. It’s not just a simple, “I forgive you.” It is a revolutionary demonstration of that forgiveness being lived out.
If Gary can forgive Ray and clearly express it in such ways, then perhaps Cromwell can forgive the mystery man. Gary didn't do it alone, but Cromwell doesn't have to either! Perhaps the detective can know peace and even be forgiven himself! Perhaps he can give up the bottle and sober up, starting a new life!
Yes, Gary is here to not only show the detective a different life, but also to allow him to see the way that leads to that life.
Gary can show him the way, but he cannot make him go.
No one can force him to go, but perhaps he can be drawn that direction. Gary begins to pray as he walks.
His mind is far off of Julia now, and even Ray is taking a back seat. Threats and a bruised temple are not the reason that Gary and Cromwell have been drawn together. There is a higher purpose here.
As Gary continues to pray and walk, his feet retrace steps from years ago. Gary used to walk this same island beach with Julia. It was a special place where they would stroll and share visions of the future with one another. Although those dreams were never manifested, the time that they spent dreaming them together was sweet and precious. These days, the memories are all that Gary has.
Gary follows the trail up the small hill back to the car. He’s ready to do what he needs to. He knows his purpose…
THE END OF CHAPTER 29
Thank you, and stay tuned for LOVE LIKE HIS : Chapter 30 - Coming soon to a steemit near you!
Also, if you enjoyed this chapter, let me know by leaving a real comment. Thanks!
Until next time…
Don’t waste your time online, invest it with steemit.com
