There are many things in life that can charge you financially, things like rent and groceries. But what happens if your emotional well being costs you time? Specifically, emotionally charged feelings can weigh heavily on you, taking up the same amount of time as your grocery shopping would.
How do you feel about this example I'm about to give to you? You're sitting in the middle of a conversation with someone and your mind wanders off into the past. Your memory takes you back to that place where you remember how that person upset you three weeks ago and it still hurts you today.
Does this bother you? It used to bother me more than the initial incident did, but continuing to consider all the issues related to that incident after I was done with it, just makes me realize how foolish I was to continue thinking about what happened to me. The person I got into the fight with probably has moved on to a wedding or other social gatherings, enjoying food and drinks with other people and most likely laughing about something funny they saw me do or say. They are probably feeling great about themselves, having moved past the issues associated with our fight.
Because of this I have come to realize that I focused more on trying to seek justice regarding our fight than seeking to have that justice be applied to the other person. The other person never showed up to defend themselves so that just means I had wasted my time and energy trying to charge them with a crime.
Although hating someone is will cost you more than tge person you hate, one of the most important things to remember is that you will never receive a receipt for the loss of your emotional well being because of hating someone for a long time.
Some years ago, I have carried this burden before, probably for longer than I should have and at times, I was so hurt that I found myself resenting my fellow man and refusing to leave the house during that particular harmattan season, preventing myself from enjoying what had been a wonderful season and realizing that I had wasted time that I cannot get back.
Letting go of the anger is not about the other person deserving peace, it is rather about you stopping the continual payments to have an emotional burden that you were never supposed to have had.