Despite what you might tend to think from my (former) IT Professional posts, I am not really one for griping in the strictest sense. But here goes, and I think that I deserve a moment to vent - not to rage or anything like that, just to vent - because I have not been regularly and consistently on my meds for close to 2 months now. I know I spoke of it here (https://steemit.com/mental-health/@phoenix32/strange-days-or-my-week-without-my-meds), and at the time, I was OK with having been inconsistent with my meds.
At the time.
When I wasn't sick for another 5 weeks with a persistent sinus infection.
When it wasn't 2 gorram months without regularly being on my meds.
Firstly, the OTC cold/cough/nasal medicines play merry hob on one's system. Throw in the fact that they interact with my meds, I was therefore and once again off my meds. The first round of antibiotics did not work, so I went back for Round 2. They switched me off penicillin and went with the doxycycline, which is "penicillin for those who are allergic to penicillin," and they added prednisone.
Once again with the steroids.
I have found that my reactions for the last 2 months are inordinate. When I encounter things that amuse me, I am finding them to be over-the-top amusing; when I encounter things that frustrate me, I am finding them to be over-the-top frustrating. The truly unfortunate part of this is that there has been more frustration than amusement in the last few weeks.
Toss in the fact that prolonged usage of things like DayQuil, NyQuil, Mucinex, et cetera all manage to chew up one's digestive tract, and I have not been feeling great. The antibiotics did nothing to help in that regard, and I found myself holding onto some great advice from Jack Nicholson, in particular the 3rd point...
Probiotics and I have become fast friends, although that has some side effects as well.
Honestly, all I want is the consistency of feeling (relatively) normal. I'm not always thrilled with things, post-TBI, and I've made that clear. Still, at least with the meds being in my system on a consistent basis, I could almost feel like my former self. But that is not bloody likely, as there is a massive absence of the meds in my life. Granted, as of this posting, I've been back on them properly as of Tuesday last week (today being Monday), so it has only been 6 days. And I still don't feel like I am leveled off and balanced. I am also in a pessimistic mindset, as I am nearly certain that I will end up sick or something all over again, and I will have to stop my normal meds once again.
Yeah, I am not eager to hop aboard that boat. That's the gorram Titanic, as far as I am concerned.
And Rose, unfortunately, will not be joining me for any part of that cruise.
Although maybe then I could float on the door by myself and survive the whole ordeal...?
Thanks for sticking with me while I got all of that off my chest!