Being a parent is a complicated task, which requires a lot of preparation. Despite that, educating with threats is a mistake. Therefore, there are effective techniques for children to grow up healthy and emotionally balanced without creating fear.
"If you do not pick up all those toys immediately, I will never buy you any more toys." Those words that contain a threat, and to get children to obey are very common. However, educating with threats is a mistake , since using fear to educate has a bad prognosis . Therefore, parents and tutors should strive not to harm their children and, rather, lay a strong and positive foundation when it comes to educating.
Threats in the education of children
Many parents base their education on threats, but children quickly realize that the more they promise and threaten, the less they comply . This leads them to lose respect for their authority, even if they see them completely angry and upset. This is because the threats are not realistic, that is, they are difficult to apply or can almost never be met.
Instead of implementing this type of education, it is better for parents to develop other educational techniques or strategies . Especially those that help them better understand the mental functioning of a child.
In this way, it will be much easier for them to educate effectively and without being threatened so that their children obey. Also, they will be able to avoid that the children see them as negative and authoritarian people, instead of positive and loving ones.
Why is educating with threats an error?
Educating based on fear to achieve a certain behavior is an erroneous basis that, in the long term, will have the opposite effect due to the following reasons:
- It creates an atmosphere of insecurity and distrust in the family.
- It is an authoritarian and negatively anti-pedagogical education .
- It contains certain violence .
- There is no coherence between what is said and what is done.
Educating with threats is an error in which many parents fall.
Serious consequences in children educated in this way
Threats are not a good educational resource. Although they may seem harmless manifestations, they are a clear demonstration of psychological violence . Sometimes, they are accompanied by shouting , which can affect the behavior and psychological well-being of children.
Do not take responsibility for your actions. It is achieved that it responds but only to avoid a punishment or to receive a benefit or a reward.
Lose credibility in the word of the parents. This is because, in a moment of anger, the thre ats become so strong that later, when they think about it calmly, they are impossible to fulfill.
Lost confidence in himself. When the parents comply with the threats, the child recognizes that he must fear his parents and does not develop his own criteria and self-control.
Suffering from stress , which is not beneficial for their emotional development.
Threats only show that parents do not have the resources to educate
3 effective suggestions when teaching
In order for you to have authority in front of your children, it is essential that there is coherence and integrity between what you say and what you ultimately do.
- Do not pose drastic consequences, because this way their effectiveness will be less.
- Never say what you are not sure that you are going to fulfill or perform.
You must be faithful to what you promise, whether for good or for bad.
Children who are threatened lose respect for their parents' words.
How to educate correctly without threatening?
Trying to control the behavior of children by choosing to educate with threats is a mistake, because it only shows that parents do not have the resources to educate . It reveals that they have difficulty setting limits and not having a connection with their children.
So, parents need to eliminate old resources, such as:
- The sermons
- The manipulations and blackmail.
- The verbal or physical abuse .
- The rewards and punishments.
Instead of these modes, you must teach him that making mistakes is normal, but that you can learn from them and correct them. Make it clear that there is not a mistake so big that you stop wanting it .
In short, it is not about leaving the child without punishment, but you must be clear that educating with threats is an error that has negative consequences in the short and long term . Rather, it is a matter of understanding it and helping him get the best out of it, not out of fear, but out of his own free will.