Parents often worry when their toddler does not tell the truth, but rest assured, the preschooler is well known for distorting the truth. This is actually a normal phase of thier development.
Why do toddlers "lie" sometimes?
Young children often say little lies without bad intentions. From the age of 2 up to about 5 years, a child can lie to avoid being cheated or afraid of displeasing . He will especially try to hide a gesture he has made and that he regrets (eg he pulled his brother's hair, he broke a vase in the living room ...). At this age, it does not really know the difference between good or bad actions.
Also, before 5 years or 6 years, a child does not yet know the difference between reality and the imaginary. He can distort the truth to have fun, to laugh or to imagine a reality that seems more interesting . For example, he says that he has an explorer daddy, that he has a funny pet or that he is a fairy. These "inventions" are more a reflection of the dreams and desires of the child than real lies.
Sometimes lying can disguise low self-esteem . A child can see the beautiful sandcastle of his playmate, and tell that at home, he built a much bigger castle that never collapses.
As a parent, it is important to take these little lies for what they are instead of viewing them as a problem. A child usually stops lying around 5 to 6 years old when he better differentiates between fantasy and reality and understands the meaning of good and bad.
When does lying become a problem?
It is only after 5 or 6 years that a child better differentiates between good and bad actions. He could then deliberately lie to get what he wants. Lying can become a problem if you feel that your child is lying almost every day or if he still does so often after 5 years or 6 years. Then you have to talk to him about why he's lying. Is he afraid of your reaction? Does he want to make himself interesting? It is important to tell him that people love him as he is. He does not need to lie to be appreciated.
How to react ?
Here are some tips to encourage your child to tell the truth:
Praise your child when he tells the truth, even if it is to confess a mistake. For example, if your child admits to having broken his brother's toy, you can tell him that you appreciate him telling you, and then find a way to fix his gesture.
Explain to him why it is important to tell the truth : "When people tell the truth, it helps us to trust them. Ask him how he would react if someone lied to him. A child adopts family values more easily when he knows them and when he understands their purpose.
Put worth on your child's emotion or desires. You will help him understand why he did not tell the truth. For example: "You would have liked not to hang the vase, would you? "
Avoid having a negative reaction to a lie . Knowing that your toddler may have lied for fear of being bickered, it will be easier for you to react calmly. You can then find solutions together to help him tell the truth.
Help your child find ideas for real things to say to his friends if you find that he often invents stories (eg he says he has a pet when it's not true). Make him think of something interesting to tell. Does he like a sport? Does he have a special talent?
Help him understand the difference between fantasy and reality whenever possible. Tell him, for example: "I realize that you can invent beautiful stories. We should write them to make a book. Or "You play to be the lion king, you pretend to ..."
Parents' Lies
If your child finds that you are lying to him (for example, you tell him that there are no more cookies when he asks for them, which is false), he understands that it is okay to lie to get out of a situation. It is better to tell him the truth, with simple words. For example, you do not want him to eat cookies before supper.
As for Santa Claus , the Tooth Fairy and other imaginary characters, it is rather small inventions that stimulate your child 's imagination . So you can talk about it without fear. One day, your child will not believe it anymore, but will keep the beautiful memory.
Note
Before 5 years, a child lies especially to avoid being quibbled or to imagine a reality that seems more interesting.
It is important to take your child's little lies for what they are instead of viewing them as a problem.
When you tell your child that he does not need to lie to be appreciated, it encourages him to tell the truth.