He waited for her to say something, anything would do. The silence was deafening and he could swear she had been quiet for more than 5 minutes. Williams knew he was losing Tola, he only prayed he hadn’t lost her completely. Her eyes held something he had never seen in the past 7 years. He knew he was to blame for whatever it was. He never deserved Tola and he knew it. He could feel that she was seeking solace somewhere else, what bugged him the most was how much of the solace she had sought.
The silence seemed to last forever. Tola couldn’t look at him. He knew something was wrong. He had just done the one thing every girl dreamed of and the one thing he knew Tola deserved, yet she couldn’t give him an answer. He tried to calm himself down; he was so scared and anxious. He knew something was definitely wrong. In the 7 years of their relationship, Williams had never imagined himself spending the rest of his life with the random babes he hung out with; he always knew it was going to be Tola in the end. He always knew she would be there waiting for him, at least that was what he thought; he just couldn’t understand why he never stayed faithful to her. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he never appreciated her for that, he loved her and he knew it but right now he was so scared that his games had come back to bite him in the ass.
He kept staring at her but she wouldn’t meet his gaze.
‘God what’s going on Tola, please say something. I’m so sorry for everything but I really need you in my life and I promise to be a better man. I’ve learnt a lot Tola, you deserve better and I want to be the one that gives it to you. I’ve been selfish and stupid but I want to start again, please forgive me and lets make this work’, he blurted out.
Tola took a quick glance at Williams face and shifted her gaze. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She had dreamt of this day for 7 years and now she couldn’t understand what was going on. This was meant to be one of the memorable days of her and life and yes it would be; only in a negative way. Tears clouded her eyes, thoughts kept jamming up in her head and Bayo’s face kept showing up. Her heart beat increased with every thought and her head began to swirl. She was so sure she was going to faint. She wondered how a dream she always wished would come to pass would turn into a nightmare so quickly. She closed her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks, she wished she would open her eyes and all this would be a funny dream.
Again that stupid flashback of Bayo’s touch on her skin crossed her mind and she shivered, not out of excitement but fear. She knew she loved Williams, she couldn’t deny it no matter how she tried. She now understood why she stayed with Williams even when all her friends called her a fool. She loved him but she wasn’t sure what she wanted, especially after the evening’s escapade.
How would she explain it to Williams? How would the confession even pop out of her mouth? She had been faithful for 7 years and the one time she decided to ‘misbehave’, he proposed. This was just wrong.
She looked at Williams and sat on the step where he once sat. She needed some form of support because she wasn’t sure her legs could do much for her at the moment. Her mind raced into a blind dark hole as tears stung her eyes. Williams still kneeling with shaky hands holding the engagement ring looked at her and silently prayed that she would say something. Anything but No, he hated being rejected. She had the right to decline, he had been the cheat, but right now, he knew this had nothing to do with him. It was Tola, she was hiding something from him and he could smell it. God, he hoped it wasn’t ……….., he quickly discarded the thought.
‘Tola, say something please. You don’t have to say yes now. Just tell me you’ll think about it’, he said.
Tola saw his mouth move but she couldn’t make out what he said. All she could see or feel was Bayo. She felt retching, skinning herself. She wanted to run away and not look back. She knew she had to say something because Williams wasn’t going to give up so easily. But words seemed to fail her; they felt like gravel in her mouth, she couldn’t spit them out.
She didn’t want Williams to suspect anything and she didn’t want to lie to him. ‘Say something’, she muttered as she mentally pinched herself. She could feel a little bit of courage build up but she wasn’t sure what she would say and then she heard the words fall out of her mouth and they sounded like the words of a stranger.
‘Yes Williams. Yes I’ll marry you’, she said. She couldn’t believe herself. You must be crazy she told herself but then a voice she had never heard before spoke out. ‘No you are not. You deserve to be happy. Tola, you’ve waited for this for so long. You are not going to ruin because of a one night stand. Shit happens, get over it. You don’t have to tell him. It’s not like he tells you everything he does, plus he has been cheating on you for the past 7 years and you endured it. You’ll be fine Tola.’
She wiped the tears at the corner of her eyes, smiled at Williams and said loudly, this time in her own voice, ‘Yes I will Williams’ and her smile widened as he slipped the ring on her left hand, where her fourth finger met her knuckle.
They both smiled amidst tears as they stood and met together in a passionate kiss.
Williams relaxed as he embraced her. He knew there was something wrong but for now he would enjoy the moment and be happy. This was what he always wanted, later he would find out what it was. Tola equally relaxed, although her heart was still racing because she wasn’t so sure her decision had been wise.
Today I’ll just be happy and tomorrow will take care of itself, she thought to herself. She knew she just killed a part of her and a new part had been born. But for how long Tola, for how long she thought as Williams placed his w arm lips on her quivering ones as tears rolled down her eyes.
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