It is the greatest atrocity when women become victims of drunken or angry husbands, or fathers, or sons, or brothers to take the brunt of their emotions on the females present in the household. The most widely perceived notion is that domestic violence among women is one of the common issues of the lower class people. But women from higher classes are also the ones equally affected by the abuse of their trusted family member.
“Higher-income people hide behind what I call a veil of silence,” says Dr. Susan Weitzman, founder of the Weitzman Center, an advocacy organization that raises awareness about what she calls upscale abuse. “They believe it’s only happening to them. No one can hear you scream on a 3-acre lot.”
The abuse among the higher class people is not even considered as an abuse sometimes because one day the husband might physically and emotionally abuse her and the other day he might bring her overpriced clothes, jewelry and flowers. When there are such variations in mood swings, the woman gets caught up between the real truth and her own version of the easily acceptable truth, as she doesn’t want to accept the reality of the situation behind it.
The starting point of the abuse may be because of infertility issues, dowry demands, being more socially outgoing, conversing with a male friend, coming home late at night, alcoholic husband etc. Most of these women are nothing short of highly literate, respectable and sometimes even successful individuals in the society. These are women with hefty bank accounts, drive around in expensive cars, wearing branded dresses, and act as a prized possession for the husband to boast around in his parties. These are women who make other women envy them.
But inside their household, they are being slapped, beaten hard, being thrown at with whatever object the man could lay his hands on, locked up, left behind to bleed, and whatever sort of things he feels would inflict pain.
Then why don’t such literate women leave their husband? Rebecca J. Burns says, “When I am asked why a woman doesn’t leave abuser I say: Women stay because the fear of leaving is greater than the fear of staying. They will leave when the fear of staying is greater than the fear of leaving.”
Several self-help groups are striving hard to save such women. But what is harder for them to help is that it is very difficult to identify such women unless they come out on their own. But some don’t even let the truth of what is happening to them, to sink in. Whatever is happening is too hard for them to accept that their life is not a normal one. Even when they accept it, they stay with their husband for the benefit of their children, or are threatened or sometimes even have a blind faith that he might change sooner, as he shows good and bad mood swings alternatively, making her believe in that possibility.
What they need is a reality check; make them realize that it is nothing normal for being subjected to domestic violence. Unless they are pulled out from that trance and help them find a voice for themselves, no one can really help them. For making them realize that, several seminars and activities have to be inculcated in the places where most of these elite women go to, as they need someone to look at them and tell them that, ‘It is not normal’.