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Two weeks ago an argument got started by a person who just wanted to see if they could start a big problem with me. Their attack was some comment made in a sarcastic tone about my work. I was in the middle of trying a new meal when I got the text so I just put my phone down and finished eating.
I didn't respond because I am not a zen master. Being around long enough to see that the reason people use insults is to temporarily stun you and take control of your brain. So that makes it very obvious that a person who attacks you from a distance is not really trying to have an actual dialogue with you and in actuality trying to get you to trip over your own feet, figuratively speaking, to prove to themselves that they were able to get to you.
By being silent in their attempt to take control of my mind, I completely cut that expectation off.
There is a form of success that is most of the times overlooked, building without defending yourself. Accumulating results, skills and living a life that speaks for itself with no need to raise your voice to be heard.
I fully recognize that this will be difficult to accomplish because you will want to respond with your own words and they are forming as you even read my blog.
But when you frustrate someone by not giving them what they expected to receive from you, by not responding to their provocating, and then show up bigger than they expected, it's not being passive at all. It's an intentional strategy, one that I believe is the most underrated form of success.
Let them wait for a response that they will never have.