This is my journey of finding balance in my marital home. The balance between my job, church, personal hobbies, shared moments and alone time. So I decided in this race, I want to document and share every good and weird moments.
It's night time as usual
My most scary period
So my husband and I got back from church, normally, I'm a drama and attention freak but living with him for months has made me realize that evenings are quite sensitive for him, so, if pressure necessarily or unnecessarily gets to him, it's a frown face you will get as a clap back.
Believe me I didn't just understand this overnight.
First few encounters were quite a thorn in the flesh and really annoying. When he gets back from work I'll be so excited and rush to hug and cuddle but I get the whole vibe...."babe chill fess abeg, I want to rest."
Are you kidding me??
Yeah, I know he's tired from the stress at work, but I've to get upset on top his tiring.
I repeated this a couple of times and I got the same treat, in fact, most times a bit worse. Me that doesn't like my effort to be put in vain, I stopped trying and I started minding my business.
I continued minding my business for a couple of days, and can you believe what he came back home one day to tell me? I remember vividly I was on my phone, when I noticed him, I just did the usual..."hey babe welcome"
His response was like "so you saw your husband came back from work and you're still lying down".
In my shock and confuse state, I told him "Sir, you said you are always tired when you come back from work so me na...cannot come and add to your stress". Then he replied that he didn't mean like that.
It kept happening that way till he starting coming to cuddle me himself, and I will be smiled sheepishly. So, I breathe in. It felt like finally, I was able to figure that one out, but another one came right in...
This time, when we come back from a function together, he's always withdrawn to himself prior to when I noticed this, I was always nagging on him choosing to fiddle with his phone or on his laptop painting an artwork, and trying to choose other things over me.
These were moment I clearly wasn't acquainted with.
I can't count the numbers of night I felt so alone. Sometimes I'll be thinking if this is how this marriage is going to be. There are evenings we will come back from work and I can't figure out what we will have for dinner, I try not to ask too many questions to avoid raising unnecessary tension, and I will just let him be.
I realized I had given up on everything that used to get my attention and poured it all out on him. I guess it was too much for him.
I decided to rewrite what usually makes me happy ...this takes me back to my previous post. I realized reading novels used to be my hobby and seeing movies on Netflix...oh dear was the sisterhood bond for me.
I decided to cut out my concentration. I paid more attention to either reading a novel, sewing clothes or seeing movies on Netflix, so I don't stress him or complain too much. It has really been working and I get to mind my business.
Still finding that balance...