Why is being honest considered rude?

I would like the least amount of faux pleasantries with this necessary interaction, please. Fuck you.

If there was a thing that I wanted that wasn't here, could you order it for me? No? Then why would I wait 10 more minutes for you to tell me that?

Also, my resting bitch face is not a reflection of you. I am a bitch. Fuck off.

Seriously, though...these service people are actually required to say these things. It is a script. Upsale, upsale, upsale. A lot of companies operate on a Leave It To Beaver mentality--if you make something feel "comfortable" and friendly, people will buy more, they will be returning customers, they will recommend the business to others.

So, I guess we just don't say these things in our heads, 'cause we know it isn't that poor fucks intention to be an ass--its their job. Poor fucks got it hard already.

So, hats off to you! You are doing one good deed at a time by maintaining social niceties.