School bullying is one of those experiences that can shape a child long before they even understand what bullying truly is. To me, bullying is not just “kids being kids.” It is a serious emotional wound that can follow someone into adulthood if not addressed early. It affects a child’s confidence, sense of worth, and ability to trust people. And often, the people who leave the deepest hurt are not strangers, they’re the ones standing right beside you every day.
Growing up, I experienced bullying firsthand. I attended an all-girls boarding school, and unlike what many people expect, my bullies were not seniors or prefects. They were my own classmates, the girls I shared a room with, five of us in one space. While other hostel rooms had friendship, laughter, and normal teenage drama, mine felt like a mini prison I couldn’t escape from.
Because I was timid and shy, they conditioned me into believing I had no choice but to obey. I became “the one who did everything.” I swept the room daily, washed their clothes, their plates, and was always the last to sleep. Sometimes I had to fan them until they slept off before I was allowed to rest. They would finish my provisions without permission and then order me to call my dad for more, and little me confused and afraid of losing what I thought was “friendship” would obey.
There were nights when I cried quietly, wondering if I had done something wrong to deserve it. Other hostel mates encouraged me to leave them, but I didn’t know how. At that age, I didn’t even know how to tell my parents. I feared how my mum would react or if she would blame me for staying. Looking back now, I realise how naïve and unprotected I was.Years later, after we all graduated, one of them reached out to reconnect. By then, I had grown emotionally, mentally, and in self-worth. I told her plainly that we couldn’t be friends. I also told her everything they did to me and how it affected me. She apologised, and I forgave her, but forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconnection. Some bridges must remain burnt for your peace.
That experience taught me lessons I carry into adulthood. And if I ever have children, definitely will, I will make sure they never go through what I went through in silence. My biggest advice to them would be simple: never allow anyone to shrink you. Speak up early. Set boundaries. Do not tolerate disrespect disguised as friendship. And if anything ever feels wrong or makes them uncomfortable, they should tell me immediately without fear.
As a parent, I wouldn’t handle bullying lightly. I would step in, go to the school, and make sure my child knows they are safe and supported, and believed. No child deserves to feel powerless. Children should not suffer simply because adults failed to pay attention.
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