There are quotes and there are quotes. Quotes need not be all serious, and teaching life lessons. There are quotes which are humorous. They are sometimes called quips and/or quirks.
Enjoy this selection of clever, witty, humorous and idiosyncratic quotes. Nevertheless, some of them has a whole lot of truth in them.
A lie is a lie... unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it’s a ‘commonly held belief.’ - Christopher Titus
Between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before. - Mae West
Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Unknown
Every boy who has a dog should also have a mother, so the dog can be fed regularly. - Evan Esar
Dad’s the boss, mom said so. - Unknown
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but is on sale. - Unknown
Any time four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. - Johnny Carson
I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse. - Dave Barry
Instead of saying “Have a nice day”, I think I’ll start saying, “Have the day you deserve”. You know, let Karma sort that shit out. - Unknown
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. - Woody Allen
It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But ... it is better to be good than to be ugly. - Oscar Wilde
I think sex is better than logic, but I can’t prove it. - Unknown
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