Let's face it: Confidence does not grow on trees. The people who possess confidence naturally wield it with power and grace. Things seem to come so easy to them. Talking to strangers happens with regularity and ease, and walking through a room while the balance of its occupants gaze in his or her direction is not uncommon.
Confidence is power. It is the power to have other people believe in you, even when you have just met. It is the power to be viewed as a leader, not a follower. It the power to command attention where everyone else fails. The age old pursuit has been how to build confidence, when you just do not have it, and we have the answers.
How to Build Confidence in the Short Term
No matter what you do, it is impossible to build confidence overnight. Sure, you may have held your head up high the night before, and felt like a completely new person as a result, but at the end of the day you are going to start doubting yourself again. The goal is to not simply to figure out how to build confidence, but how to keep it, and these ten steps can help.
Step One: Groom Properly
You know how good you feel when you spend a little time in the mirror, styling your hair or plucking crazily overgrown hairs, before hitting a big event? Treat every day like it is a big event, and you will begin looking and feeling better with each passing day. When you know that your outfit is pressed, and that it fits you properly, you will spend less time worrying about how and where you sit. You will simply just begin to own the room you are in by feeling comfortable with yourself.
Step Two: Be Positive
Once you have gotten yourself together physically, be positive about the changes you are making to become more confident. Talk to yourself throughout the day, even if you are not expressing your feelings aloud, by saying things like, "I look great" and "I feel great" along with "this is going to be fun!"
Stop facing social situations as if you are going to burst into flames the moment you walk through the door. Focus on the positives of every situation, including those with family and friends or even coworkers. You can handle anything, and there is nothing to fear by being involved.
Step Three: Be Kind
Confidence exists on a number of levels, and when you are kind to other people, whether they are complete strangers, loved ones or even the person serving you lunch, it is a reflection of you being happy with yourself. This is important because confident people make other people feel better about themselves. People who are not confident say awful things to people, or worse -- yell, curse or degrade them -- to make themselves feel better. This is unbecoming, and makes you look less than self-assured.
Step Four: Improve Your Posture
Take a few minutes to analyze your existing posture, which is more than how you are sitting while you read this. Do you slouch? Are your shoulders rolled forward? Do you enter a room looking directly at the floor? One of the easiest answers to how to build confidence is to stand up straight. Confidence is only exuded by those who sit and stand upright, with their heads held high, making eye contact with others in the room.
If you are dressed to the nines, and groomed impeccably, none of that will matter if you are sitting on a barstool slouched in half. The easiest way to improve your posture is to practice. When you are at work or at home, sit up straight and make a habit of it. When you catch yourself slouching, correct it immediately.
Step Five: Smile
Confidence is often portrayed through a smile. If you walk around with a furrowed brow, and a look of disgust at all times, you may appear to be the most unapproachable person on the planet. Much like being kind will help you appear more confident, so will smiling. Try it when you enter a room, and follow it up with a hearty "good morning" to the first person you encounter.
Taking these five short term tips into account is only the beginning of how to build confidence and keep it for good. There are tougher steps that are going to require a little more work on your part, and are listed as long term areas of action in how to build confidence.
How to Build Confidence in the Long Term
The long term list that helps answer the lifelong conundrum of how to build confidence is full of things you should work on every, single day. Although not every instance of your life will allow you to enact these qualities, most will and are explained below in easy to understand examples of how you can evolve as a person with confidence.
Step One: Be Grateful
Be grateful for something each day, whether it is your health, your pets, or the fact that you can afford cable television. Be grateful for the laptop, tablet or smartphone you peck away on endlessly throughout the day, and be grateful for the people you have in your life. Take a minute out of each day and recognize the things, the people or the circumstances you are grateful for in your life. In fact, when you are with a group of people, do not be afraid to share the things you are grateful for. It is a humbling experience that allows you to build confidence because you are firmly cemented in reality, and you know what is important.
Step Two: Take the Lead (Two Part Step)
Part One: Whether you are at home, at work or in a public place, take the lead in determining how your time is spent. If your group suggests getting food, toss your restaurant idea out first. This is a great way to exude confidence without having to be in charge. Your suggestion may be passed by for another, but at least you gave an opinion. Do the same for movies, museums and entertainment ideas. You do not have to be the deciding person, but you also do not have to stand by and let everyone else decide your evening for you. Take the lead in a positive fashion, and avoid saying things like, "That place sucks" or "Ugh, I hate it there" when someone else suggests a venue. This negative approach is not only unnecessary, but it makes you look needy. If you end up somewhere that is not your favorite spot, find something you like about it anyway and enjoy it.
Part Two: The second part of taking the lead also means to help those who need it by volunteering your services. If someone clearly needs help opening a door or carrying something, do not just stand there (whether you are a man or a woman), HELP THEM! Confidence comes from not being afraid to step up for the greater good -- whether it is offering directions to someone who clearly looks lost -- to untangling a dog from a parking meter when no one is watching.
Step Three: Be Gracious
When someone compliments you on a talent or instance of bravery, say thank you and admit that you appreciate the fact they he or she noticed. Even if someone is complimenting your hair or your attire, say thank you with sincerity. The worst, self-loathing thing you can do when someone pays you a compliment is to insult yourself as a result. If someone says, "I like your hair" say "Thank you" and not "Really? I hate it." Be gracious, all of the time.
Step Four: Do Not Judge Other People
Nothing makes a person seem more confident than admitting that he or she is not perfect, and avoiding making fun of another for their physical or emotional behavior is the best way to reflect that stance. The only person you are in charge of in this world is you, so let's keep it that way. The moment you begin tossing insults or poking fun at another your confidence drops incredibly without you even knowing it. That is because whatever you are focusing on, or judging that person for, is a reflection of all the things you dislike about yourself. If you want to know the true path to how to build confidence, it begins with letting other people be exactly who they are, while you work on yourself.
Step Five: Take Risks
The final step in how to build confidence is to take risks. Get out of your comfort zone. Stop eating at the same restaurants or visiting the same bars all of the time. Stop talking to the same people all of the time, and engage those around you in conversation. The worst thing that can happen is that they respond tersely, and move on. If so, it is their loss.
When you follow these simple steps in how to build confidence over and over again, they will become second nature to you. Next thing you know you will be sitting up straight, smiling at the barista on the other side of the counter when someone notices you from across the room. Hopefully they will have read this list too, and will take the risk of coming to say hello.
Source: http://www.socialanxietyhome.com/how-to-build-confidence/