I used to believe that the best way to overcome feelings of stress or frustration or being overwhelmed was to step back and take a look at the big picture. It didn't matter whether I was dealing with a tantrum-throwing toddler or a crazily incompetent co-worker, this always helped me to step back from the problem at hand and gain perspective on the situation. More often than not, I'd find that the things that bothered me in that moment didn't really matter in the big scheme of things.
But lately, I'm finding that looking at the big picture isn't helping like it used to. Because my greatest frustration at the moment is time -- or a lack thereof -- versus the vast amount of things I need and want to do. When I step back, I see all of those things -- the responsibilities of day-to-day living, kids' activities and needs, commitments I've made to myself and others. And I worry that if I can't find away to do it all now, how will I manage to get even the most basic, most important things done once I return to my full-time job?
At the top of my list of current frustrations is our yard -- our once-wonderful almost-an-acre plot of land that we are in the process of very slowly rebuilding. The never-ending amount of work is eating up all of my "spare" time; even when I carve out a few moments to actually enjoy the space, it's hard not to think about the running to-do list of everything that needs to get done.
But today -- today I tried something different. Instead of looking at the big picture mess, I tried to focus in on the small victories. The pops of colour that make me smile, the hidden spaces that spark my imagination, the simple moments where time holds still just long enough for one deep breathe of clean fresh air to rejuvenate my motivation and my spirit.
And it made me feel better. It made me realize that the big picture I'm working so hard toward doesn't exist without all of these small things. These tiny grains of life are the big picture, and they are worth every valuable second we can find.