1. The power of exchanges :
The axis often best known when we talk about NLP and communication, aims to enter the quality of exchanges. What are the factors that will help better manage relationships in our daily lives ?
2. Zone of influence and beliefs :
Helen Keller said :
"No pessimist has ever discovered the secret of the stars, nor sailed to an unknown land, nor opened a new path to the human spirit. "
Imagine a big circle, in the outer part of the circle you find all that is constraints, for example : Unexpected urgent event, rain on vacation, refusal of credit, illness, material that does not work, physical injury , lack of information, non-respect of another person... In the center of this circle, imagine another small circle which has the same center, then you would put everything you have influence on, it is this which we call the zone of possibilities. That's what you can do, it's your area of influence.
There you will find two great attitudes. One of the most important aspects of a person's development is the ability to leave the position of saying, for example, "I spend my time reacting to the pressure of events." You suffer the world. If you stay in this perception of things, you end up justifying that you can not do anything, that you are the most unfortunate, that anyway life is what it is, that we are few things ...
The other attitude is radically and fundamentally different. You create the world. This is to believe that you can always do something about what is happening to you, this is to operate from your personal area of responsibility. From this point of view, whether you are becoming clearer about what you want to achieve in your life or whether you are able to communicate better with your environment, you will gradually become more actor of your life. So, the more you develop this attitude and this dimension of possibilities, the more you realize that things are possible for you.
You will understand that life is a set of opportunities and that we must learn to seize them. This type of belief can truly engender different ways of being and living.
3. Indicators and non-verbal language :
All is based on communication, and in communication another important idea is the consideration of verbal and nonverbal indicators.
To communicate is to become aware of the fact that these indicators are taken into account. Why raise awareness ? Simply to acquire more capacity to react according to these indicators, to develop a way of communication that is more flexible, more appropriate to the person and the situation. The goal will always be the same : to meet on the bottom. For this, we will have to work on the form. This is what allows to get into more authenticity on the merits.
A question often arises :
"Yes, but then we get to the manipulation ?"
In NLP we call this a process of influence and not manipulation. To exert an influence is to identify the elements that make it possible to advance. Conversely, the manipulation continues for a fundamentally different purpose: in the context of manipulation, a person will do things that are intended to satisfy his own needs first and foremost. For this purpose, the person will communicate in a manipulative way to bring him into a path that is especially important for him and not necessarily for the other.
On the other hand, to work on the phenomena of influence is to enter much more into a greater responsibility for your attitude towards others. You will realize that you exert an influence by the look you have in the morning saying hello, by the attitude, the smile, the pretty look to the eyes, the way you perfume, which you dress, whose you do your hair ... All this really has an influence. To advance in the communication is to be more and more in the responsibility of what emanates from you on the verbal plane and still more nonverbal, because it is the one that has the most impact in the relation .
I can always tell you that I'm fine, if the head that I'm doing or the attitude I'm showing indicates the opposite, my communication sounds wrong and the non-verbal language takes over.
NLP updates the keys that make the magic of sympathy and well-being.
NLP simply shows that there are factors that promote communication and others that prevent it. We will then talk about relational conflicts, opposition, relational knot. The relational knot is what happens when you pull the wrong thread. The relational loop, on the contrary, is the work on the form that makes it possible to meet on the bottom. If, for example, you work in difficult neighborhoods and you approach a youth in a city when arriving with your crate and tie: you are in two worlds so different that it becomes very difficult to make a report. You will have to know how to put yourself in his way of speaking. The more you look like him, the more you will be able to meet you on the merits. If there are too many differences on the form, it is strongly compromised from the beginning.
You have to work a lot in order to progress in communication.
When the form brings confidence
You can work on communication to get what you want to pass on, but also to get someone to be more confident, to really say what they want to say. Problems of authenticity are often linked to problems of insecurity. A person tells you stories because he/she often has good reasons to do so. For example : he/she is not secure enough, hr/she does not dare to say, he/she fears to be depreciated.
Communication is also allowing the other to be more confident when he needs to express himself.
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