I'm not a resolution type of woman. Yeah, I know; doesn't sound good. But this is what it is. I do make some plan but doing that on pen and paper never happen. Call me lazy or unplanned if you want. I know that even if I write them down (which I have done a few times), I wouldn't be able to follow them.
Oh! So many things drive me away, so easily!
That doesn't mean there's no achievement and I didn't learn anything, right?
Let me reflect on my year 2022.
“Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards.”
I count this true. For the past few years, things were quite different for me and life has taken a new shape. I learned to live in the current moment and it gives me a clear idea about the past.
2022 is not an easy year for me. Since 2020, I'm struggling to keep a healthy mental state for different reasons. I have gone through some major trauma, was diagnosed with PTSD, and had medication for over a year. I'm still struggling to keep my mental health in a good state and feel happiness without boundaries. It still feels like something is taking down everything and I'm losing myself.
But all this negativity didn't stop life to move forward and that's the big news!
If I reflect precisely on my past year then I would say-
I have learned to create my own weather instead of living others' creations.
You may be wondering if there must be something good in all this bad. Yes, you are not wrong.
I came to realize that life doesn't give us everything we want and that's totally okay. Focusing on what I have and feeling blessed for that is what we can do. Some things will always be out of our reach even if we try our best.
I became more spiritual for the right reason, to find inner peace.
I'm working on my mental health and improving. This means a lot to me. I would say, nothing else matters this much.
I lost my extra weight, and I have to lose another 4kg and I know that I can do that.
I have learned to make better choices in terms of lifestyle and as a whole for the betterment of me and my family.
I became self-focused but not selfish, more giving but self-caring, and more empathic. Because I know how it feels to be a loser.
Now after all this foggy talk, let me share some 'real' (how society defines it) achievements!
I have to build my very own first apartment with my own money. A portion of it came from Hive. Can you believe it?
It's in my hometown, now where I currently live. I would not be able to live there but that apartment would be on rent. But hay, that's my own asset with my name on it. This is a huge achievement for me.
That cost a lot and now I'm almost broke. :/ The work is almost finished. Hopefully, it will be on rent from next January.
This whole year I was busy with the project. And this thought me some great lessons. The value of money, and being mindful of finance is something I have learned which I will carry on.
I'm not sure how the year 2023 will pass. But I don't care much, not anymore. Because I know I have to build my own happiness, for me and my family; no matter what.
I have to live, happily.
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