We know that not everything that happens to us is pleasant or what we expect them to be. And sometimes when such ill experiences occurred in our lives, it is not the experience itself that produces the greatest effects in us but how we choose to react to such experiences.
The way you react to a situation will determine the effect such a situation will have on you. We all know that life is a series of events; even though some of these events may not be what we actually want, that won’t stop them from happeningto us. The question is “what should we do when life presents us with situations that are beyond our control and very overwhelming to us?
One thing we all need to understand here is that, “there is no problem that is insurmountable if given time and the right approaches are applied on it”. But based on our nature as humans, we spend most of our time reacting to what had happened to us than think of ways to get ourselves out of such problems. We allow ourselves to easily get worked up by our reaction to the problems and pay very little attention to solving the problem or adjusting ourselves to it. Before we could realize what we’ve done to ourselves, the problems have already eaten us so deep that we find it difficult to think of a way to resolve it constructively.
What are the right ways to handle some of these daily experiences that life throw at us? Should we just let them be and hope that they will fade away with time or we should do sometime about them?
Here are 3 simple steps we can apply in handling the daily challenges life confronts us with:
- Change It:
Most of the challenges that come to us have something we need to do for them to go away. Sometimes the problems that come to us may be as a result of something we’ve done wrong that is backfiring. Thus, whenever we have a problem confronting us, the first question we should ask ourselves is “where is it coming from?” we need to know if such a problem is caused by our past actions or it just comes on its own.
Before you can tackle any problem effectively, you need to know what caused it. You need to know if such a problem is as a result of something you’ve done or currently doing; so you can put a quick stop to the action that is generating such occurrence. But What if such a problem is not as a result of you past actions? Then you need to think of a way to resolve it.
One of the ways you can get a quick fix to whatever problem that confronts you is to first note what area of your life such a problem affects the most. Are the effects of such a problem more pronounced on your health, finances, emotion, relationship, family or social life? Noting what area of your life such a problem affect the most will give you a clue of what the cause is and guide you on how to resolve it.
Anything you have the power to change is not supposed to have a tremendous hold on you. But sometimes we allow such problems hold us captive by reacting negatively and blaming ourselves and those around us. Instead of looking for a way to confront such a problem and make them go away. We have a great control over our minds and how we can successfully apply it in handling the daily occurrences in our lives. So, anytime something you don’t fancy confronts you, instead of whining yourself to depression, look for where it is coming from and try to change it or fix.
But what if it is something that we cannot fix like a partner leaving, the death of someone etc? This brings us to the next step which is…….
- Accept It:
Are you shocked I said you should accept it? Accepting a thing – mostly something unpleasant doesn’t mean you have to like it or be in love with it. It simply means that you shouldn’t lose your mind over it. When we lose our cool over a situation happening in our lives, we bring more confusion and hurt to ourselves than the actual problem does.
By accepting it, you’re simply acknowledging the fact that you’re being confronted with something that is beyond your control and need to adjust or figure a way to get out of it. This is one of the ways we can actually maintain our sanity whenever we are faced with a situation that is negatively affecting our lives.
Coming to terms with negative situations early reduces the negative effects of such experiences in our lives. Yes, this is where I am at the moment and it’s very painful, the question is “What do I need to do to get out of this mess?” what if I can’t do anything about it, how can I reduce the negative effects of such an occurrence in my life?
Accepting whatever it is that you’re facing gives you a clearer understanding of the situation and makes you decide you next course of action thoughtfully. Your mind gets relaxed when you accept the challenge and it starts generating ideas on how you can get yourself out of it. Even if it is not something you can get over easily, you start adjusting yourself to the present situation till you’re able to get over it.
- Ignore It:
This last step may sound very stupid to some people, but have you noticed that some problems fade away on their own with time? Most times, the negative effects most of the problems we face have on us are as a result of the importance we place on the problem. If we can learn to ignore some of the problems that confront us, we’ll discover that their effects on us will be very minimal.
Okay, you just lose your job that you’ve been giving your all these years or you just lose an investment or your partner just left you or you’re going through a serious ailment etc. will your worry cause the troubles that you’re facing to go away? One thing I know worry does very well is aggravating a situation and adding emotional imbalance to the life of the person going through such a challenging time.
You need to understand that regardless of the problem confronting you, life goes on. Some things that happen to us are actually very painful but they don’t worth us killing ourselves over. You can cry about it, but don’t make it steal your joy, love and peace of mind.
Anything you can’t change, worrying about it will only worsen its effects on you and break down your coping mechanism. But the moment you start learning to ignore them, you’ll discover that you’ll begin to start coping even with the oddest situations in your life. No one wishes for evil to come to him/her, but sometimes they do come even without an invitation.
So instead of lamenting sometimes, just learn to preserve the energy you’ll use to lament for something else and act like everything is well. You may feel the negative effects for some time but your sanity, joy and peace will be preserved.
We don’t have the power to control everything that happens to us, but we have the power to control how we react to whatever is happening to us. Don’t let life “live you” by pushing you here and there because of your rash reactions to life’s challenges, learn to live life by not allowing the challenges it throws at you steal the most vital part of your being – you joy, peace, love and soundness of mind.
Always strive to make the most of whatever challenges that life throws at you. Don’t forget that it is not the problem itself that produces the greatest effect in us, but how we choose to react to it. Learn to act in a calm and composed manner, and watch the problem bow to you earlier than you imagined.
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