I woke up after the longest, deepest sleep in months to a message that my beloved Steem was in a hellish crisis. I SHOULD be with my community. I SHOULD be in DISCORD. I should be paying attention to all of this. I did catch up with most of it on Twitter. I could easily get embroiled in this, reacting as the Dapps shut down, ranting, vowing to leave, to panic, getting damn angry at the way its all going down. I may have taken a break at the worst possible time, but for those of you that don't know, I have not LEFT.. I will go down with the ship with the best of you.
But right now, in a hotel room in Delhi, I am powerless and I am okay with that.
I needed a break from leadership, and I needed a break from Steem. It's a holiday that was important for my sanity. As much as I want to reinstall everything and get involved, I dont think my presence will make much of a difference. My co-leaders are voting for all our loved witnesses with all our accounts, because they have the keys. I might pull off some of my favourite posts just in case, if I get wifi this afternoon. I was powering down about a quarter of my stake from last week JUST IN CASE but the rest, such is life. I am not attached to the coin, but all the other things this place offers. If you are still here and reading this, you KNOW exactly what that is.
I am about to head to Rishikesh and the Himalaya foothills, and the source of the holiest of rivers. Reminders of the truth of our existence abound, in temples, in mantra, in kirtan. The many religions here - Sikh, Hindu, Jain and so on - continue to remind me what really matters. I feel anxious thinking about steem, but that's chitta vritti.. fluctuations of the mimd stuff. And so I breath as this steem river flows, and trust in what will be.
I do, however, have a brass Ganesh in my bag I warm with my fingers, and ask this remover of obstacles to look out for our Blockchain. But for now, I must be a little detached, because this is what serves me, and thus those I love, the best.
This is the message I asked 
Dear Nat Medders, I am sorry I can't be with you all at this tumultuous time and know there is a lot of panic and fear. It is a difficult time for the steem we love, and a sad one. I understand everyone's need to react in some way, but I would suggest for now you monitor the reasons for your reactions. Do what you believe HELPS the Steem we love. I suggest reviewing your witness with ALL your accounts and ALL your votes. 
