Let me pause for a while in publishing the series of articles on biblical counseling and the covenant. Earlier today, we had a Chapel Service. I was informed in the late afternoon yesterday, and so what I did was to retrieve an old sermon I preached ten years ago in Gwacheon Yaksu Presbyterian Church in Gyeonggi-do, South Korea. It took me about 4 hours to rewrite and update this old message. I started at 8 PM last night and ended at 12 AM.
Due to the limitation of time for preparation and since I am preaching from a narrative, I could not employ the typical exegetical analysis I used in analyzing epistles or a few verses. Even though our scripture reading is only up to verse 18, the message is based on Genesis 45 as a whole.
Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh’s household heard about it. 3 Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence. 4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! 5 And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. 6 For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. 7 But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. 8 “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. 9 Now hurry back to my father and say to him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don’t delay. 10 You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me—you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have. 11 I will provide for you there, because five years of famine are still to come. Otherwise, you and your household and all who belong to you will become destitute.’ 12 “You can see for yourselves, and so can my brother Benjamin, that it is really I who am speaking to you. 13 Tell my father about all the honor accorded me in Egypt and about everything you have seen. And bring my father down here quickly.” 14 Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. 15 And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward, his brothers talked with him. 16 When the news reached Pharaoh’s palace that Joseph’s brothers had come, Pharaoh and all his officials were pleased. 17 Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Tell your brothers, ‘Do this: Load your animals and return to the land of Canaan, 18 and bring your father and your families back to me. I will give you the best of the land of Egypt, and you can enjoy the fat of the land.’ Source
Let me start with a story to illustrate our theme this morning. There was this family reunion. After the celebration, the mother of the host house has to do the dishes at the kitchen sink. Her daughter is watching her and suddenly observes that her mother has several strands of white hair. She looks at her mother and curiously asks, “Mom, why are some of your hairs white?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white”. The little girl thought about this response for a while, remembered her grandma, and then asked her mother again, “Momma, how come all of grandma’s hairs are white?”
No family is perfect! You are blessed if you don’t have skeletons in your closet. However, many do have. They have loved ones who drive them crazy and unresolved issues that have been buried for so long. You are blessed indeed if your family is not dysfunctional. However, many do have dysfunctional families. Instead of protecting each other, they destroy one another, hurting each other’s feelings either because of jealousy or feelings of inferiority.
A Dysfunctional Family
What is a dysfunctional family?
Here’s how AI described a dysfunctional family:
A dysfunctional family is one where love and responsibility are often overshadowed by conflict, neglect, or misunderstanding. Instead of being a place of safety and support, the home becomes a source of emotional pain, marked by constant arguments, silence, or unhealthy patterns of behavior. Members may struggle to communicate honestly, carry unhealed wounds, and repeat cycles of blame or avoidance. Over time, this environment can shape how individuals view themselves and others, making it difficult for them to trust, forgive, or build healthy relationships outside the family.”
When I input the title of this message on Gemini, the above image was generated. This image reminds me of two popular Netflix series, which picked up this theme of a dysfunctional family. The first is The Sandman, released on Netflix in August 2022. The Endless family (Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction, Despair, Desire, and Delirium) “is deeply dysfunctional, characterized by intense rivalries, emotional distance, and, in some cases, active malice.”
Another series, which I am watching now, is The Umbrella Academy, first released in February 2019. It also followed a dysfunctional family theme of seven adopted children with extraordinary powers attempting both to save the world and find their place within it.
Enough for the Netflix series using a dysfunctional family as its theme. Let us turn our attention to our text.
At this stage in Joseph's life, as described by our narrative, Joseph was about to face his father, Jacob. Before their meeting, Joseph already met his brothers and revealed himself. Such a reunion was unusual and shocking, especially on the part of Joseph’s brothers.
Can we say that Joseph’s family was dysfunctional? How are we to describe Joseph’s family? Joseph’s family was marked by severe parental favoritism, intense sibling rivalry, deception, and hatred. Such negative family dynamics resulted in the betrayal of Joseph. His brothers' hatred was so severe that they plotted to kill him, but later changed their minds and decided to sell him as a slave. Moreover, Joseph’s brothers lied to their father for years, using a blood-stained garment to convince Jacob that Joseph had been killed by a wild animal.
Central/Analytical Question
Why was the reunion of this dysfunctional family unusual? What lessons can we learn from this unusual reunion of a dysfunctional family?
As we already know, the reunion of Joseph's family was unusual because it was prompted by a shocking revelation. Joseph's brothers were so terrified at Joseph's presence after the revelation. That was the farthest thing from happening in their minds. Never in their wildest imagination that such a shocking meeting with their “dead brother” would happen.
"Your Sin Will Find You Out"
I think the first lesson we can learn from this unusual reunion of a dysfunctional family is that God has a proper time to expose sin to light, no matter how hard you cover it.
Joseph's brothers were so concerned about surviving the famine. However, God had a different plan in mind: to expose their guilt and set things right between Joseph and his family.
We learn here that in facing an economic difficulty, the most important action to take is to confess our sins. In the case of Jacob’s family amid the severity of the famine at that time, their common-sense solution was to go down to Egypt to find provisions both for themselves and their flocks.
Reflecting on the famine story, I was thinking, why did God allow the world to suffer famine at that time? Yes, perhaps the world then had no space to think about the God of Israel. And so, the famine could serve as an opportunity for Joseph and Israel to introduce Yahweh to Egypt as the true God. However, even though the Pharaoh of Joseph’s time acknowledged God’s revelation to Joseph, it took between 300 and 430 years for Egypt to acknowledge the sovereignty of God during the time of Moses.
As far as Joseph and his family are concerned, I am thinking that perhaps the famine is God’s way to bring reconciliation to his family. Such reconciliation would only take place if sins committed in the past are exposed, acknowledged, repented, and forgiven.
We all know that it is basic to our human nature to find an alibi for our sins. We don’t want it to be exposed. We hide it instead. Nevertheless, God in His sovereignty can use difficult situations to uncover hidden sins.
There is a popular saying that I first heard from my Homiletics professor, "Your sin will find you out.” This is a biblical warning, meaning that hidden sins will be exposed and punished, if not in this life, in the next. Many think that if sins are not immediately punished, then the threat of eternal punishment isn’t true. On the other hand, if sins are punished, rationalists would think that there will be no punishment to come. What the Bible tells us is that if man escapes punishment here due to influence or power, he cannot escape the final judgment, for all of us will appear before the judgment seat of Christ. However, if man’s sin is punished in this life, God wants him to repent, or else something worse will happen to him in the afterlife.
Sin doesn't stay hidden forever. No matter how cautious you are in hiding a secret, forbidden romantic or sexual relationship, once exposed, it will end in emotional turmoil, heartbreak, and broken relationships. No matter how beautiful you describe such a relationship at the start, it will end in pain. The nature of sin is that, whether or not others discover your sin, you cannot run from its consequences. Sin carries within itself the power to pay the sinner back. No matter how safe you think you are, your sin will find you out.
For a time, Joseph’s brothers were able to relieve themselves of their insecurity and jealousy. However, in the long run, they suffered a guilty conscience and burdened their family with numerous difficulties.
God was indeed good to Joseph and his family by removing the family's guilt from them. It has burdened them for too long. For this to happen, a painful operation was necessary. Their shocking encounter with Joseph reminded them of their betrayal of him in the past. Though this encounter was painful, it must happen to remove the guilty feeling and to reveal the years of anger, loneliness, and isolation, to replace them with forgiveness and reconciliation. Only through this process can healing take place.
Application
How is your family? Is it dysfunctional like Joseph’s? What is your feeling every time you come home? Are you happy? Or are you angry and emotionally distant? Do you feel unloved and confused? Do you still trust your brother or sister? Or you feel you are strangers to each other, and you just keep silent to avoid conflict?
We all dream of a home to become a haven of grace, patience, and mutual respect. Though not perfect, yet rooted in the redeeming grace of Christ.
Returning to Joseph’s story, observe that after Joseph's revelation of himself in front of his brothers, they were terrified. In order not to be overcome with fright, Joseph comforted them by saying, "Do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you" (Genesis 45:5). And then he adds, "It was not you who sent me here, but God" (Genesis 45:8).
Forgiveness and Reconciliation
The second lesson we can learn from this unusual reunion of a dysfunctional family is that forgiveness on the part of the “sinned against” (the offended) can only be possible through a humble recognition of God’s sovereign plan.
Without such realization, Joseph could have paid evil with evil. Joseph could have severely punished his brothers for all the suffering he had undergone for so many years. But No! Joseph realized the hand of God in all of his painful experiences. And because of that, he changed his mind. He was able to forgive his brothers, and he was even able to embrace them as proof that indeed he had forgiven them and was open to genuine family reconciliation. By demonstrating such a forgiving spirit, we see Joseph reflects Jesus, suffering extreme pain on the cross, who prayed for forgiveness to the Father for those who do not know what they do.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are important to make a family reunion real and lasting. Without them, a family reunion is superficial. It is because of God's grace working in the life of Joseph that such forgiveness and reconciliation could take place. This is because Joseph recognized the sovereign plan of God not only for the world, for Egypt and Israel, but also for himself personally and his family as well.
The reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers reflects the heart of the gospel. As Joseph extended grace to his brothers, the gospel calls sinners to repentance and faith, and Christ receives us with mercy. Joseph’s family, once divided by sin, was reunited through forgiveness, just as God reconciles broken people to Himself and to one another through Jesus Christ. Their story reminds us that even the most dysfunctional families can become testimonies of God’s redeeming grace.
Provision Amid Economic Crisis
The third and last lesson we can learn from the unusual reunion of a dysfunctional family is that God can provide abundantly to meet the needs of His people even in times of economic hardship.
This story sounds unreal. I think this is one of many reasons why people find it difficult to accept biblical stories. They are too good to be true. But this is part of sacred Scriptures, and we accept this as a true piece of history.
A family seeking to survive a famine now finds abundant provision in Goshen. This is another instance of life reversal that we see as dominant in Joseph's narrative. Such a reversal was made possible simply because Joseph was a powerful ruler in Egypt. And as a display of abundant provision, Pharaoh said to Joseph to bring his family to Egypt, and he would provide the best and the fat of the land (Genesis 45:18).
This story shows that even in Egypt, God is sovereign. This also tells us that even in times of famine, God is powerful enough to supply the needs of his people.
Conclusion
In this unusual reunion of Joseph’s dysfunctional family, we learn that God has a proper time to expose sin, that forgiveness and reconciliation can only be made possible on the part of the offended through a humble recognition of God's sovereign plan, and that God can provide abundantly to meet the needs of his people even in times of economic crisis.
Prayer
Lord, we thank you for your grace. You know the condition of our family. We ask for forgiveness for whatever sins that any member of our family has committed. If it is still hidden, expose it, and may our loved ones come to the realization of the seriousness of his or her offense, first against you, and next against all the members of our respective families. Help us to forgive and find the way to reconciliation by the power of your grace and through a humble recognition that even in our darkest hour, you remain sovereign. Thank you also, Lord, for your promise of provision for your people even in times of economic crisis. Help us to look up to you always as our Jehovah Jireh, the God who Sees our needs, our Provider. All of these we pray, in the Mighty Name of our Savior, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen!
Grace and peace!
Note: I first published a shorter version of this message under a different title here on Hive using my son's account.