I ask myself this question all the time, where should my expectations end and the reality begin?
Perhaps a bit of context is required here, I have spent a vast portion of my life doing what others thought was best for me, causing great distress to myself but I obeyed because of factors like age, relationship (familial or friend, coworker or boss) because well they were older, wiser, more successful, so I should try to emulate and listen, right?
WRONG.
Ultimately I discovered that a large portion of the humans out there operated on a mode of WIIFM. (Whats In It For Me). Fundamentally selfish creatures who seek to shape the environment around them to suit themselves and call this success.
So the longer you engage in fulfilling others expectations the more impositions you will find layered upon you until you end up essentially a slave to that environment.
I spent a long time trying to work up a solution, for it is pointless to narrow down a problem if there is no possible solution. Because a method that is singular and has no possible replacement must be the best possible method (due to it being the only one).
And my idea was thus, if we could all just consider that our environment is personal, and only extends to the reach of our arms. Then the moment something steps outside that reach is the shared communal space and we are being selfish to impose our will upon the users.
This is the gray area where if you choose to participate in it you have to be mindful of your actions, others, to be considerate and accepting.
Now the quandary comes in that is it selfish of me to want to improve the shared environment because I disagree with how things are going? That I can see it ultimately ending in a very negative self orientated world?
So I pose it as a choice, you are free to make your choices dearest reader, I just hope you make the most enlightened one.
Try a fresh branch, blaze a new trail.
Much love. <3