What is Love?
The Holy Bible gives quite an accurate description of what love is and what it should be. Found in 1st Corinthians 13 verses 4 to 7, " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. All of these descriptions are pretty self-explanatory that most kids in grade school would be able to tell you what they mean. However, the narcissist does not understand or refuse to understand these basic elements of love.
When you love someone you do not only use words loosely but your actions will speak much louder. The scripture showed that love is patient and if you love someone, you will understand that the individual is not perfect and they will screw things up sometimes but you will love unconditionally them despite of it all because at the end of the day we are all fragile human beings. However, this is not the case with the narcissist. The narcissist is impatient and easily angered and what you would tolerate or bear with them, they simply would not be able to. They would look to end the friendship, relationship or even marriage for minor offenses. They act like selfish two-year-olds who have the inability to regulate their emotions and when you don't give in to their demands they start throwing tantrums.
A hallmark of love is the kindness shown to that individual consistently. You want to just shower that person with whatever you can give to them to make them feel happy whether it be material things like money, clothes, shoes or intangible things like your precious time. But the narcissist is self-seeking and shows kindness with an ulterior motive. Most narcissists may appear kind at the onset of the relationship doing nice things for you making you feel like this person is so sweet and making you feel like your so lucky but you are only being love-bombed. They will buy you things, do things for you, be there for you, spend time with you but its all under conditions and if you only mess up one time, they will likely take back the things they bought you or they would withdraw themselves for periods of time.
To love someone you have to keep remember they are a faulty individual and that sometimes they will let you down. You have to be realistic and understand that every day would not be a sunny day because at times you could be the one who messes things up. Therefore, you learn to love and let go of passed faults; you forgive and forget and move on. You realize this is important to the relationship because you would not be able to love the person unconditionally but conditionally if you do. You don't want to keep bringing up the past offenses because it will drain you. Not so with the narcissist. The narcissist will remember every offense you committed against them but they will suddenly have selected memory if you start uncovering their past. They would boast of things of they did for you to make them feel better about themselves.
When you love someone, not only do you want to be kind, patient, forgiving but you want to spend all your days with that individual especially if it is in a relationship. So to demonstrate this kind of love, many people alike would engage in unions called marriages where you honor the one you love. You will attempt to treat that person in a respectable manner at all times because that how you honor someone. But narcissists will disrespect and dishonor you just to feel good about themselves, whether you be innocent or guilty. They will go pass boundaries you set in most cases because they really in truth like evil. They seem to get some sort of high out of doing evil to others.
When you love someone you are in most cases always looking out for that person's best interest by protecting them whether it be physically in terms of security or emotionally within a relationship. The narcissist will protect you as long you are on their good side and if you only change sides chances are they abandon you in the cold and feel no way. Sometimes it appears as if these individuals have no souls, no feelings. Loving someone means opening up your body, mind, spirit, and soul basically entrusting them with the elements that you're made of. The narcissist may open up but not entirely. They enter into the relationship not trusting you and if there isn't trust there isn't love.
Finally, when you love someone you are always hoping for the utmost best. Even when there are fights, arguments stress and pressure that is intolerable you are hoping that things will get better. The narcissist will have the view that whenever an issue presents itself its time to run or end the relationship. They are fragile and weak individuals that are unable to deal with stress or pressure and because of their inability to deal with it, they usually very petty, emotional and hypersensitive. Finally love always perseveres. Sometimes relationships can go through some tests and it is love that allows the relationship to endure what it went through. It may be distance, where one individual moves away for a period of time but because of that love, both persons are secured and know that they will one day they will meet again. The narcissist is an emotional wreck and as time grows longer they will start demanding more or start playing games fully aware of the circumstances which could damage the relationship. In most cases, the narcissist will seek to end the relationship because their physical needs, or emotional needs can't be met.