Wasn’t childhood just great? You had absolutely no care in the world and were free to do whatever you liked and most probably got away with it just because ‘you were a child’.
But really, it is indeed one of the most enjoyable periods of life where you don’t have any of the life’s mountainous burdens of responsibilities apart from having to go to school and learning and memorising a bunch of things, that is, which seemed too burdensome at the time to be fair.
Boy, were we so wrong! As you grow older, you start learning more about the world around you and realise that it is so different than what you had thought it would be as a child.
You have to behave according to different circumstances, places, people and situations and although your mind thinks of a hundred different things, you have to choose carefully what you let out of your mouth, especially in a PC (politically correct) world like ours. Today I want to talk about some of those situations, where we say something but want to say something else entirely!
When someone takes 10 minutes to talk about how their day was.
What You Say: Oh, that was a lot of stuff to do in one day!
What You Want To Say: I don’t caaaare!!! I asked you how your day was just to be polite and start a conversation… If I wanted a whole speech about every single thing that happened throughout the day, I would have simply asked my wife! Oh look, you’re still talking. That’s absolutely great. Why don’t you jam my head inside this shredder while you’re at it!
When an interviewer asks, “So, why do you want to work here?”
What You Say: I really care about the work that this company does and I believe in its goals to make people’s lives better. I want to be a part of that journey and I am hoping this will help me grow as a person and as a professional in the process.
What You Want To Say: You see, I have always been passionate about not dying of starvation. For that, I need money and for that, I need a job. So, it is pretty straightforward actually!
When Your Crush Says Hi!
What You Say: Hey! How’s it going?
What You Want To Say: Hi there, you perfect creation of god, the hallmark of beauty, the daylight of my life and the purest of souls. What can I do for you? Just say it and it shall be done!!
When Asking Someone Out On A Date
What You Want To Say: Hey do you wanna grab a coffee sometime?
What You Say: Hey! Umm, Smith….John Smith, my name is. Coffee… you drink? It’s great. I hear it has great antioxidant properties umm, so you should really drink it, you know. With me. Will you though?
When Someone Suggests A Real Stupid Idea In A Meeting
What You Say: Let’s get back to that later.
What You Want To Say: Woah!! I haven’t heard an idea that stupid since they decided to cancel Friends! I mean do you just blurt words out? Oh wait, are you high again, Charles? Come on man! It’s the 5th time ……. this week!!
When Someone Apologises To You, But Doesn’t Mean It
What You Say: It’s ok. No problem at all. :)
What You Want To Say: (imitating their apology with a frustrated face) Aaamm sowwyyyyyyy. Yeah right!!! And I’m Iron freaking Man!!!
When you have headphones on and someone keeps trying to talk to you
What You Say: Oh!….Yes….Right…..Tell me about it!…..mm hmm, that’s right….
What You Want To Say: Excuse me kind sir, but this device you witness in front of you is called a ‘headphone’. It’s a wonderful piece of technology that lets you experience music in all its glory. You know what the best part is though? It won’t let me listen to the 40 years of wisdom that you are so eager to pour into me, a total stranger, as I am not able to hear your voice while I have this apparatus on. Good day!