Today's shoe offering, for your keen discernment and enjoyment, is a singularly unique pair in my collection.
Most likely brethren to the "Blue Suede Shoes" that Elvis himself sang so passionately about, I present, to YOU, my fantastically engaged and intelligent audience,
Craiggles' Brown Suede Shoes!
These are the shoes one would wear to an annual celebration dinner to honor something special.
A formal gathering, where dancing and lawn darts would be strictly prohibited 🚫.
Because PLEASE don't step on my brown suede shoes.
Or impale my foot with a poorly aimed lawn dart.
That would, like, get blood on my brown suede shoes, which would be a shame. You would then be marked for death 💀, a hideously ignoble demise, where your transition from this life to the next would be more implausibly terrifying than death itself...
Thrown into a pool of sharks, wearing a necklace of freshly severed (and shaved) dolphin testacles, you're probably wondering?
Nay, dear friend, a fate far worse and humiliating:
Dressed and made up like Bette Midler, you would perish in a bouncy castle, surrounded by clowns hopped up on meth, who are laughing delightedly whilst throwing little pickles at you.
All the while, the soundtrack to the movie "Hope Floats" plays in the background, stuck on a loop, just to remind you how sunk you are before departing the vastness of this mortal coil.
The side profile of these shoes are as simple and elegant as ever, befitting of the Mark Nason signature style.
The unique aspect of these brown suede shoes demonstrates its presence in the heel:
Notice the heel is NOT flush with the surface of the shoe, displaying a playful depth to the discerning viewer.
The heel itself has indentations along the sides, perhaps to aid the wearer when slipping them on and off... These are the only shoes I have ever seen to offer this feature.
8 days of shoes left before we move into a new month!
You've got a real treat coming up in February, as I've already got planned the hilarious continuation of the monthlyauthorchallenge, involving a particular aspect of the technology that we all use!
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