Dear Feminists

I just watched The Red Pill by Cassie Jaye and I feel inspired to reach out to feminists. I want harmony between us. 

I agree that men can't fully understand what it is like to be a woman. Men certainly do have some advantages, both biologically and culturally. And we can't ignore the problems. Look at the domestic abuse statistics! Look at who sits in leadership positions of political and financial power! You want fairness. You want justice. You want respect.

Few men can understand what it was like when your father or uncle (a person you trusted most in life) physically, sexually, or psychologically abused you. How about the catcalls from the random bozo on the street? And how safe do you feel on that same street at night? How about the gropes and pats on the butt at work? How about being judged for your looks instead of your brain? It fucking sucks. 

You want recognition for your pain. For what you had to go through and what you go through every day being a woman. Compounding the problem, not even all your fellow women agree with you! It can feel like your plea is falling on deaf ears. So you yell louder. And when just one person listens, you feel some hope. You meet other feminists who feel as you do and you feel encouraged and sane. You feel understood. It's not an easy road but it feels right. And yeah, it can feel good to fight for a cause you believe in, right?

Let's do a thought experiment. Just for a moment. What if it might go both ways? What if women can't fully understand what it is like to be a man? What if women have some advantages, too? For every disadvantage a woman might claim victim-hood over, what if there is an issue where men could do the same? Well that would mean either we are all victims or it's a wash; we all have advantages and disadvantages and it kind of events out.

"But how can you compare anything to RAPE?" You might say. Sure. How about death? When have women ever been forced to go fight and kill? But let's not get into a tit-for-tat and "Who's the bigger victim?"

How about instead of choosing to be victims, we all stop wasting energy on this game? Let's celebrate our strengths! [Note: I see how the following list could be interpreted as "See how easy you have it, you big babies!" Please give me the benefit of the doubt here. Why would I mean that if my goal here is harmony?]

• Let's celebrate that women live longer than males. 
• Let's celebrate that women can have multiple orgasms. 
• Let's celebrate that the tech and engineering industries are desperate to hire women. 
• Let's celebrate that females are far less likely to be homeless. 
• Let's celebrate that women are less likely to get cancer. 
• Let's celebrate for women that if a man and a woman are having a dispute in public, strangers will typically side with the woman. 
• Let's celebrate that in our culture, women are to be revered and protected.
• Let's celebrate that when a ship is sinking, both literally and metaphorically, women and children are the first to be saved. 
• Let's celebrate that rarely are women expected to work life-threatening jobs.
• Let's celebrate that women on average work less hours than men because most women aren't as focused on or as interested in that game. 
• Let's celebrate that women can be friendly with children without garnering suspicion. 
• Let's celebrate for women that courts side with females more often in cases involving divorce, custody, abuse, and crime.
• Let's celebrate boobs. 
• Let's celebrate the power of female sexuality.
• Let's celebrate that females have the wonderous ability to create life!

Note: I'm talking about American culture.

Finally, we can't quantify the value of all the advantageous and disadvantageous traits any one person, race, or gender has and then declare they have an unfair advantage or disadvantage compared to some other person or group. In the absence of this "unlimited all-knowing," let's choose to be humble, to assume we don't know what it is like for other people, and give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe their lot in life has just as many challenges as ours. What is the reward for this? Peace and harmony. What if all the energy we put into fighting each other we were to put into building something great together? What if the energy of "You better listen to me about the pain your kind causes me" were shifted to "I'm having pain. I wonder if you are, too? I'm listening with an open mind."? 

What if we accepted all this pain as part of HUMAN existence? Let's celebrate the wonderful differences, recognize the similarities, and enjoy each other.