Normal: what is it?
Many years ago, the word “normal” used to mean ‘carpenter’s square’, a ruler shaped like an “L” used to make markings, and measure precisely whatever was being measured. Today there are two definitions of normal: 1. The normal that uses a data set to define itself as an average of that data set (It’s normal for a woman to be 4 feet and 8 inches tall in Bolivia.) and 2. The normal that uses behavior and morality to define itself. (It’s normal to throw tantrums at age three, not at thirty-three.)
The normal that gets thrown around in psychology and medicine means to follow a general pattern. For example, let’s say at dinner time, your Dad sat at the head of the table, your little brother threw his peas at you instead of eating them, and your mother made sure everybody was satisfied with the meal she laboriously cooked. If this is what you saw every day at the dinner table, you’d think this way of eating at the dinner table was “normal”. But if you really think about it, there are as many different “normals” as there are humans, cultures, personalities, ways of thinking and religions. Perhaps in certain cultures, it’s not normal for a child to throw food, for a man to not and for a woman to cook.
So if normal is relative, is everything “normal”? Biologically speaking, is it normal then to have three eyes, and two noses? In the behavioral sense, normal to not smile at strangers at a party? And in the psychological sense, for man in his mid twenties with no urinary problems to wear a diaper?
If men hitting their wives happens frequently in a certain culture or part of the world, can we make a sweeping generalization that it’s “normal” for a man to beat a woman? Would it then be “abnormal” to deviate from this “normal”, for men to not beat women in other cultures and parts of the world? Is racism, sexism, sexual and religious orientations (whatever they may be for different people), eating bugs, dogs, beating children, wiping to clean after pooping or washing instead of wiping normal specific to person, country, origin, interests and ways of thinking?
As you can see, “normal’s” starting to make no sense given the definitions we have today.
So, what is “normal” then?
Perhaps Morticia Addam from The Addams Family has the ultimate answer for us. She says – Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
And what is your take on "normal"? Tell me in the comments below. :-)
(artwork by scribblendoodle)