Yulia Azriel has been my yoga teacher for the last 10 years. I've worked with her on and off in various capacities-yoga, meditation, yogic meditation, goddess and writing yoga, a women's temple. . . She's even created a video specifically for my Writing through Trauma practice. Find that video here.
Aside from being my teacher and colleague, she has become a dear friend. That's why I challenged myself to show up at her house and be filmed giving a testimonial for her new promotional video.
I love being behind the camera. In front of it is another story and, honestly, the reason I take so many selfies. I need to remember I'm here, that I am beautiful, that I deserve to be seen.
*image by JealousyJane
Those statements may seem immodest or odd. I am not alone in needing visual validation of my existence. I am a parent, but even if I weren't, it is easy to get lost in this world. Taking photos of myself is a way to find center, to see myself happy or hurting, to recognize/witness/love when there isn't anyone else available to give me what I need. My love circle has grown smaller recently. My selfies less consistent. I've been disappearing.
I knew that about my life--I was struggling out of depression when I showed up at Yulia's door, my anxiety medication carefully timed so I could provide the support for a friend she had provided for me. Even though I took care of my appearance prior to arrival, I had no idea what I looked like, had trouble hearing my own voice, and stumbled over my words. I thought. Then I saw the video.
Being filmed in this manner was actually a bucket list item. Sound weird? Well, remember what I just said about disappearing? Sure, I shoot the occasional YouTube or Facebook video, but I do it rarely. It feels squikky, I'm often awkward. I don't love it.
But I do love showing up for my friends. Showing up for Yulia is an example of me doing my okayest. Read more about what I mean when I say that here.
Note: Gift your friend #MyOkayest merch from Zazzle. If you don't find what you're looking for, apply the design to other products! Feels weird to plug it, but I'm getting feedback that people really like the statement. Rock it if it speaks to you.
I showed up again today in a Blissful Rejuvenation Retreat with Yulia. The same one I plug in the above video. I found myself wondering why I don't go more often, then chuckling because it was the very sentiment I'd expressed when asked why work with Yulia. Why wouldn't I? She's amazing. So here's a shout out to Yulia Azriel of Gentle Heart Yoga and Wellness for helping me locate center and be my okayest yet another day.
Do you want to encourage a friend to share how they are doing their okayest? This link will take you to the 7 Day #MyOkayest Challenge. Anything goes as long as it's honest.
