From the album "Pussy Weapon" by Uzimon, this track about Steven Seagal never fails to crack me up.
Even when I'm lying in a pool of sweat because it's so hot today, and I'm stressing out because the price of Steem is going up so fast I can't count my money, Uzimon makes me chill right out.
steven seagal
steven seagal
steven seagal
steven seagal
steven seagal
steven
when you pick up the phone and dial but jah nah answer when you call, dial 1-800 steven seagal
when you owe the gangsta money and you have no choice at all and you have to kill them all call
steven seagal
steven seagal
steven seagal
a who dedi man a mek di ladies spread dem leg and bawl
a him di man nah bother wipe di blood and brain off di wall
him get vex and disconnects ya eyeball
me nah chat bout chuck norris me nah chat bout jet li
me nah chat bout jackie chan wid him drunken kung fu technique me nah chat bout van damme
mama man inna speedo
me only chat bout di original ponytail guido
practicin aikido up inna di dojo perfecting him death blow
tootin on him piccolo / sippin on him mojo
drinkin water buffalo
test seagal ya take a walk down death row
when ya make love to ya gal and if she climax at all
nah be surpised when she scream out (“steven seagal”)
if can’t please ya woman cuz ya buddy a too small
and ya caan reach uzi man call
steven seagal
some a’ dem a talk some a dem a chat
some a dem a run dem mout
but steven seagal nah bother wid dat
him just pull out ya throat
kick off chuck norris head an wear him skin like a coat
him life to peace and justice him devote
one ting a go mek mad and one ting go a mek me vex
seagal nah get nah props fi di acting talents him a flex
him like robert de niro but wid a black belt degree sixth
so why di academy never show him nuff resepecks
him bring understated nuanced performance to each and every role
dark and brooding and composed with a sense of self-control
showing range and versaltility and depth emotional
yet him always a go straight to video
why him a always go straight to video
a dis me will never ever know
steven seagal is de world’s only hope!